The Art
by metroanime
Summary: What if the Art that Ranma practiced was not primarily the martial arts?
1. The Art

The Art____ (prologue)  
  
by GreggSharp Metroanime@aol.com  
  
Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, etc.  
  
i don't have money so don't sue me, hire me and we can BOTH make money.  
yes, this is an Alterniverse sort of thing. The idea was: with all the talk about dedication to the Art, what other kind of Art could have required this much dedication and training. This is the result.  
  
No, this Frostbite is not my SI character. This is the bigger fellow that the D&D char got his name from.  
  
------  
  
the beginning  
  
There was darkness, a void.  
  
Then there was light. Energy formed. Matter developed shortly thereafter. In the vortices of energy and structuring reality formed they who were the First. They who would be called demons, or angels,  
gods, or the Great Dragons.  
  
Stars formed, some alive, some aware. Planets formed, some alive, some aware. Life appeared.   
  
Amongst these were beings who could tap or manipulate forces of the universe that would come to be known as magic. Among these were the faerie, the true dragons, the triclops, the oni, and the humans.   
  
-----------  
Lake Biwa region, Japan, 1787 AD:  
  
Happosai considered the others. The Amazon squad leader Cologne from a distant part of China was one that he knew. She seemed displeased to see him again. Well it was a mutual feeling.  
  
Kuonji the Ninja Master from the Capital, one he'd the dragon known as Frostbite (a ghostly image sent from his lair in the Antarctic), and his own brother Hadagi - the worst of the lot.  
  
"Hmmph," Cologne spat from her vantage on a tree limb. "A panty thief, an assassin, a merchant, and a old wyrm that doesn't even bother to appear in the flesh. Pretty pathetic group you've got here."  
  
"Like your Amazons," hissed the dragon with a faint sound of amusement, "I work with what I have available. You do not have MY years of experience, warrior of the Amazons, so you do not see what I do."  
  
The dragon's image was merely three feet in length. Nobody really knew how big it was in person. "Do you want to know what it is _I_ see. I see the seeds of greatness. Kuonji Isako will pass away within the decade, and that is HER choice. Her line, however, will continue."  
  
"Yes, the deal," breathed the Ninja Master, who was an old woman who was entirely too tired of life to have been tempted, "a sharing of a dragon's longevity and vitality, of knowledge shared and of other things hinted at and promised. WHY?"   
  
"I could tell you three things, all true. One, that I have always liked humans. Not all of them, but just as I get ready to condemn the whole species as a waste of flesh one of you will come forward and prove the exception to the rule. Two, that there is a Needed Thing. Not now, but the preparation should begin NOW. Events I have glimpsed in the future that will be beyond MY talents should I stand alone. Third, that in a life where I've seen you humans build a nearly perfect society only to rip up the Ancient Moon Kingdom and lay it waste in petty intrigues and power struggles, all the way to the present day, it can be terribly boring to watch the same mistakes over and over again."  
  
"And the real reason," Hadagi asked quietly.  
  
"We all want to leave a Legacy, do we not? For Cologne it is the Amazons, for Happosai his Anything Goes school, for Kuonji it is the   
clan and the nation, and for Hadagi it is the appreciation of beauty.  
  
"I will eventually pass on, the last of the Great Dragons stranded here when Crystal Tokyo fell and the Riftgates ceased to be. I will  
leave this universe one final time, and there are few remaining dragons of any kind here. Certainly there are none I would pass any sort of Legacy on to, at least that are in the world now. This shall be MY legacy."  
  
Happosai affected an air of indifference but could imagine what having even one thousandth the lifespan and vitality of a dragon would be like. Imagine the panties he could lay claim to.  
  
Cologne imagined rising to the Council Of Elders and continuing on for hundreds of years giving service to her tribe.  
  
Hadagi imagined the money he could make with that sort of lifespan, and with never having to deal with illness or injury to slow him down for long.  
  
Kuonji glowered at the others but quietly thought of her clan and nation surviving even in the face of such powerful enemies as could  
be found in the world outside.  
  
Frostbite watched all four. They eventually agreed to his terms. He knew they would.  
  
It was all foreseen.  
  
==========  
  
Lo Phat's Diner, Hong Kong, November 18 1975  
  
"We meet again." Cologne nodded at the two shrunken old men and the much younger man who was wearing a bandoleer of spatulas.  
  
"The two families I have trained in the Anything Goes style have decided to unite!" Happosai said with a smile. "The espers of Clan Tendo and the mages of Clan Saotome will be united in this next  
generation."  
  
"Wait a minute," Kuonji growled. "It was to be my line and the Saotomes..."  
  
"No, we were going to have Happosai's disciple and my disciple!" Cologne rubbed her temple. She'd known this was going to be trouble. She didn't like the deal, but it looked like this Nodoka Saotome  
might be able to pass on some decent qualities to her son.  
  
"Oops." Happosai thought about this for a few seconds. "We'll just have to see how it develops."  
  
Hadagi wisely kept silent. He thought it likely if he brought up that the son of his disciple, Hibiki, was also to be promised to the young heir of Anything Goes Psi-fu that there would be combat commencing in   
short order.  
  
Well, everyone knew what his brother was like. Happosai'd get blamed for it anyway. Besides, each of them was used to manipulating things from the shadows. They knew the real decision would be fought in that   
manner.  
  
Frostbite watched from inside a candle flame with eyes that rarely blinked. It had all been foreseen.   
  
============  
  
Tendo-ke, Nerima, Tokyo, Japan, 1990  
  
"What've you got, Nabiki?" Akane and Kasumi got together behind their sister and watched the computer screen. Shampoo was off learning more of her Amazon heritage.  
  
"This is REALLY wild," said Nabiki. "I was using some psychometry, trying to get impressions through my Niftyserve account, when these files suddenly came over."  
  
"Oh dear," Kasumi managed as she looked at the screen. "Isn't that mother's picture?"  
  
"Right. It turns out that dear Mother's legacy to us included more than psionic talents, but you knew that. Among other things, one of us has an iinazuke."  
  
"A fiancee?" Akane growled. "Did father know about this?"  
  
"Daddy thinks it was his idea and that of his dear friend Saotome. Both trained under a martial arts master and hentai freak of nature whose name I won't mention lest we somehow attract his attention. Actually it was arranged by both mothers, and it looks like it was  
planned long before any of us were born."  
  
"He's not too young, is he? Younger men are so..."  
  
"Don't worry, Kasumi. According to these files, he starts out pretty brash, no social skills to speak of, and his father is a total writeoff, but he's got a few good qualities that will come out within a year of having a permanent address."  
  
"Well, you can have him. It's not like I want anything to do with boys anyway."  
  
"Now, now, Akane. We've got a little over a year before he arrives. His father has dragged him through hundreds of different planes of existence, learning new spells and fighting techniques as he did. This has gone on for ten years now and he's even been to Asgard!"  
  
"Hmph. So he's been to Asgard, BIG deal."  
  
Akane demonstrated her own bit of divine blood by summoning Mjolnir III to her hands. Little bits of lightning crackled around the sledgehammer.  
  
Nabiki agreed. "True, but you have to admit the average guy down at Furinkan isn't likely to have gone any further than, say, Hong Kong?"  
  
Akane smiled slightly at the thought of almost any of her classmates trying to deal with one of her great grandfather's parties.  
  
"Mind you his mother is descended from a similar bloodline," Nabiki cautioned her sister, "and there are two more things I need to followup on. Kasumi, could you stay a moment?"  
  
Akane took the hint and left, no doubt to go smash something into elemental particles. She *enjoyed* such things, part of her inheritance being increased strength and a propensity for violence.  
  
"What is it, Nabiki?" Kasumi had her own share of their mixed heritage, which usually manifested in the aura of calm surrounding her. If that third eye opened though, all bets were off.  
  
"There's two major problems with this guy, and one with Akane. Dig this."  
  
Kasumi studied the new picture up on the computer screen. "That's the Faerie Realm, isn't it?"  
  
"Right. That's the next stop of the two Saotomes."  
  
"Hmm. So they're idiots?"  
  
"No, Ranma isn't." Nabiki stretched in her chair. "Well, at least not as much as his dad."  
  
"But nobody enters the Mists Of Faerie without some kind of enchantment, curse, or other transformation. Don't they know that?"  
  
"I kid you not, sis. This 'Genma Saotome' has literally dragged his son to Hell and back in the name of perfecting his Art. This is the other problem, that his Dad cut deals and made other lapses of judgement all along their trip. The only definite thing I can get  
is that the Saotome-Tendo engagement is the oldest and that this makes one heck of a case for its validity."  
  
"He lives in interesting times then." Kasumi sighed. "Precog and healing are my specialties but I never had a lock-on for this."  
  
"That's part of it," Nabiki admitted. "I can't tell what kind of enchantment they'll exit Faerie with."  
  
"Where the Wylde Magicke flows, Nothing Be Certain," Kasumi quoted.  
  
"So, Genma promised his boy in marriage to a LOT of people." Nabiki started counting off. "At least one Valkyrie, a Greek demigoddess, a dragon, two slavers, four merchant-barons, and a demoness that I've been able to see so far."  
  
"Ara-"  
  
"Third, there's this." Nabiki called up a computer file. "This is that other problem I alluded to earlier."  
  
Kasumi noted a simple text file. She took Nabiki's place at the computer and started reading while Nabiki took a seat at the bed.  
  
Nabiki sighed. "This was included with a note about this being one of the 'infinite possibilities' that could occur. It said that there would be differences, that the divergence point had already occurred, but  
that you should be ready to react as if it is accurate."  
  
Kasumi speed read the file and turned to her sister. "Aptly named. 'Bitter End' indeed. While it contains some inaccuracies, I can see Akane behaving in a similar manner."  
  
Nabiki nodded. "If this Ranma shows up with a curse similar to this, I think we ought to assume the worst and the file is more accurate than not."  
  
"So desu ne." Kasumi watched as Nabiki reached over and clicked an icon with her mouse. "Hmmm. He doesn't look so young."  
  
"That's Ranma at age 20, providing he lives that long. Frankly, he's kind of cute and I might go for him myself. We'll have to see."  
  
"We certainly shall." Kasumi agreed.   
  
"I still don't know who sent me all this, but scanning it with my esper talent shows no hostile intent or deliberate lies. I'm getting pretty good at combining the tech stuff with psychometry, so assume that our 'benefactor' is either exceptional at covering tracks or is legit." Nabiki jerked a thumb at the screen. "If I get any further info, I'll tell you."  
  
Kasumi got the hint. "I'll do some basic scrying techniques now that I've got something to target. When Shampoo comes back, we ought to mention this, she IS a member of the family. Be careful, sis."  
  
"Always," said Nabiki with her usual smirk. "Always."  
  
D-chan, Nabiki's stuffed dragon seemed to smile and blink as Kasumi left the room.  
  
============  
  
A dragon, deep in the Antarctic in an iceflow that hadn't moved much in 6,000 years, watched. With few exceptions, this had all been foreseen.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
ja ne,  
gregg, (i'll leave the Great Works to someone else, let's see if i can manage something fun while they do that.)  



	2. Here's Ranma?

The Art____   
  
Art Chapter 2: Here's Ranma?  
  
by GreggSharp Metroanime@mindspring.com  
  
Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, etc.  
  
i don't have money so don't sue me, hire me and we  
can BOTH make money.  
  
yes, this is an Alterniverse sort of thing. The idea was: with all the talk about dedication to the Art, what other kind of Art could have required this much dedication and training. This is the result.  
  
------  
  
"I gotta learn an Umbrella spell, or maybe a Repel Water or something." A red-haired girl snarled as she glared at the heavens for the brief downpour. "Maybe a weave of Water and Air..."  
  
"Growf," was the only response from her companion, a large panda that didn't seem too happy either.  
  
"So what's at this dojo that I gotta see anyway?"  
  
"Growf."  
  
"You WOULD have to turn into something that can't speak, wouldn't you?" The girl thought about it and decided this was probably just another 'challenge the dojo and learn the techniques' run. She had a bad feeling about it, though. While Martial Arts were a good way to keep body and mind focussed, it was the Art of Magic that was her true dedication.  
  
The two were aware of the attention they were receiving, though they'd walked some truly strange paths where they'd have been ignored as unremarkable. A girl who seemed to have a slight glow around her made more visible by the overcast sky, having a conversation with  
a panda, was not something you see everyday even in Tokyo.  
  
"We gotta find some hot water," Ranma suggested. "I don't want to use up the energy trying to cloak both of us with a Hide spell."  
  
"Growfl?"  
  
"No, I'm not gonna do that. What happens if that crazy Valkyrie chick comes after us again? You really want me to use up the energy needed to Shield against her shakti? And how many hits can even my best Shield take from that thing? One, yes. Two, maybe."  
  
"Gruf." The panda seemed disinclined to continue even an attempt at conversation, shuddering at the mention of the Valkyrie.  
  
-------  
  
Soun glanced at the table and noted that a crystal was glowing. "At last, they're here in this dimension!"  
  
"Kasumi!"   
  
Kasumi looked up from where she was boiling noodles in the kitchen. "What is it, father?" While it was true that he was only a step-father, she'd long ago accepted him as if he were her real father.  
  
"Nabiki!" Soun glanced in to find that Nabiki was lost in cyberspace again.  
  
"Oh, is it that time already?" Nabiki glanced at her watch and then her calender.  
  
"What time is what?" Soun always felt like he were three steps behind in a game of chess when he talked to Nabiki.  
  
"Never mind, daddy, I'll be down in a moment. I want to put my best kimono on. First impressions and all that."  
  
"Akane!" Soun looked around, then checked out the dojo. Sure enough, Shampoo and Akane were sitting in full lotus positions facing each other. An occasional spark or shimmer would appear in the air between them as they psychically dueled.  
  
"Akane! Shampoo!" Soun called. He knew better than to get between the two, one of those Lessons You Learn While Waiting For The Casts To Be Removed.  
  
"What is it, dad?"  
  
"Shampoo turn make dinner tonight?"  
  
"There's a family meeting, NOW."  
  
Shampoo exchanged a glance with Akane as they followed their father into the house. "You think this time is that time?"  
  
"We'll find out? Why are you so anxious anyway?"  
  
"Not everything in life is fight, Akane. Not only pleasures in life through conflict. Old Amazon saying: 'Don't discount simpler pleasures in life.'"  
  
"If it involves boys I don't see how it could have ANY pleasure involved."  
  
"Maybe so, Akane, but you not going to dispute simple part, ne?"  
  
Akane snorted an agreement as she entered, then assumed a neutral expression. They'd agreed earlier to act surprised when/if this iinazuke thing came to pass.  
  
-----  
  
"...and if my friend's son were to marry one of you, the Tendo legacy would be assured." Soun looked over his step-daughter, two daughters, and adopted daughter.  
  
"Wait a minute, don't we get some say in who we're supposed to marry!" Akane, as usual, was angry. Her Aesir blood contained the berserker taint, and so Rage was something that empowered her. Unfortunately, her frequent tapping of that quality tended to keep it bubbling near the surface.  
  
"Hang on, sis, you never know, he MIGHT be cute," Nabiki wondered if her sister had forgotten about their conversation last year. There hadn't been any mention of the subject to Akane since then,   
though Nabiki and Kasumi had conferred on the findings of some of the divinations since then. Shampoo had been told shortly after she'd returned from her tribal village. "Right, daddy?"  
  
"He'll be here any minute." Soun wondered about it himself. He had been told years ago that due to a misunderstanding with some otherdimensional Thing that they weren't including personal names in any of the usual correspondence. "Saotome and his son have been off exploring the multiverse for the past ten years on a training journey. They recently crossed into Asgard."  
  
"Oooh, Asgard." Nabiki oohed appropriately. "Wonder if they got to meet Granddad Magni."  
  
"So they've been to Asgard, big deal."  
  
"Father, how old is this fiance? Younger men are so...young."  
  
"Is he cute?" Nabiki silently congratulated her half-sister. Kasumi made it sound like she was condemning the idea as unworkable while still leaving it open. They already knew quite a bit about what was going on, but their father was enough of an emotional wreck without realizing exactly how little control he actually had over his life. She noted that she sounded a little eager herself, and wondered how much of her own attitude was an act.  
  
"I...don't know."  
  
"You don't know?" Nabiki stopped, he couldn't be THAT clueless, could he?  
  
"I've never met him."  
  
Kasumi sighed and covered her face with one hand. Nabiki noticed the gesture and realized that Kasumi was covering a smile. That they knew far more about what was going on than father was hardly new.  
  
"Aiyah," said Shampoo, duplicating Kasumi's gesture and managing to sum up the entire situation. "Shampoo hope for best but this sound as bad as when honored adoptive father invested in sumo pig wrestling."  
  
"So what exactly are we doing here, anyway?" The voice was of a boy, somewhat irritated. "Are we going to challenge them for their secret scrolls or what?"  
  
"Ah, that must be them!" Soun Tendo beamed and started getting up.  
  
Nabiki exchanged a glance to Kasumi who nodded. It sounded like their iinazuke hadn't been told yet. This WOULD be interesting. Smiling, she ran to open the door.  
  
Outside was a middle aged man in a white gi that had a couple of oddly colored patches on it. Her attention was largely captured by the young man who was standing nearby, looking over the house with an  
oddly distracted look.   
  
"Oooh. He IS cute," she called back to the others. Turning back she noticed how shocked the young man in question was. Leanly muscled, hair back in a loose ponytail, filled out his clothing rather tightly  
in all the right places.  
  
"Uhm. Then these are friends of yours, pop?"  
  
Nabiki smiled and invited them in, watching the young man's butt as he passed her. Yup, he might not be rich, but she WAS a teenage girl and money wasn't quite everything. It came close, but it wasn't everything.  
  
Soun smiled as they entered the room, and almost hugged Ranma, a warning glare made the older man reconsider. "So you must be Genma's boy."  
  
"Yeah. I'm Ranma Saotome."  
  
"RANMA!?!" Shampoo leapt to her feet. "Did you say 'Ranma'?"  
  
"uhm, yeah. Is there a problem?"  
  
Shampoo's eyes went to Nabiki and made a silent promise that they would speak LATER. "No, just old story my great-grandmother tell me. Coincidence."  
  
Nabiki thought about this. Come to think of it,they had always referred to Ranma after that first meeting as the "fiance" or "male visitor" just in case anyone should overhear or be scrying on them. Shampoo hadn't been present for that first meeting.  
  
"Well now, Saotome, have you thought about your decision?"  
  
"What decision would that be?" Ranma was puzzled. He had a bad feeling about this.  
  
Even Akane got this without the whispered commentary from Shampoo. Ranma hadn't been told why he was coming here.  
  
"To pick your fiancee, of course." Soun noted Genma casting a spell and a brief image of a shield settling into place around his old friend.  
  
"WHAT?!?" Ranma went into obvious shock. He looked rather panicked, the discipline necessary for the Arts Magical having gone on coffee break.  
  
"This is my stepdaughter Kasumi, she's 19. This is my daughter Nabiki, she's 17. This is my daughter Akane, she's 16. This is my adopted daughter Shampoo, she is also 16. Pick any one you want, she'll be your new bride."  
  
"Eeep." Ranma glared at his father. "Pop, what are you trying to pull? You deliberately didn't tell me about this!"  
  
"You'd have cast a Hide spell and run for cover if I'd told you," Genma managed, increasing the flow of energy to his Shield spell just in case. "It's for your own good, boy."  
  
"Shampoo think he kinda cute. Shampoo will marry Ranma." Shampoo smiled while looking over Ranma like a cat with a new playtoy.  
  
Akane was now looking shocked. "Shampoo, what?"  
  
"Now, now, as the eldest here, it is my duty to fulfill family honor." Kasumi smiled in a sort of absent manner, radiating niceness. That was one thing about Kasumi's projective telepathy, she tended to project whatever emotion she was feeling the moment.  
  
"Kasumi?!?" Akane went from shocked to flabbergasted. Kasumi interested in a younger guy? Well, it was also true that there wasn't a line forming at the door.  
  
"Now now, maybe we shouldn't rush the poor boy. After all he has three prospective fiancees and doesn't know any of us well enough to make an intelligent choice. Waiting, say a month, that would be the sort of reasonable decision a mage would make, right?"  
  
"Nabiki?" Akane vaguely remembered last year's meeting, but found herself wishing for a few rehearsals.  
  
"Oh, don't worry Akane. We all know how you hate boys," Kasumi said with a smile.  
  
"Kasumi right. Akane not worry about this. Shampoo win anyway."  
  
"I don't think so, Shampoo. You're right about one thing at least, that Akane would definitely be the WRONG choice here."  
  
"Waitaminnute!" Akane glared at her three sisters. She didn't like being forced into a marriage, but here she was being shoved out of it like she couldn't possibly compete in this arena. Pride was in a battle with reason and reason was very rapidly being knocked into submission. So she was being tossed out like yesterday's ramen?  
  
"Shampoo sorry, Akane. You no competition but Shampoo not be mean, just not want see you hurt when you lose."  
  
Akane growled and glared over at the boy whose head kept jerking around to stare as each girl spoke. His mouth was still hanging open.  
  
"Well, Akane, that pretty much settles it. This way he only has to make a choice out of us three."  
  
"Uhm, right." Ranma finally shut his mouth. The thought of three attractive women arguing about who would get to marry him was so far from his usual train of thought that he was feeling a curious dislocation. Strange? No, this was downright alien.  
  
"I'm a woman too, you know. If I want to marry this jerk, I've got as much a right as anybody else!" The message suddenly reached Brain that Mouth had gone off on its own initiative. Akane immediately shut her mouth, sat back down from where she'd raised herself up to protest, and tried not to look at anyone.  
  
"That's my boy," Genma said, proudly beaming at his son to have four women ready to be his fiancee.  
  
"You do your father proud," wept Soun Tendo.   
  
"What the heck happened," whispered Ranma. This was almost as bad as what had happened on that trip to Faerie. Wait, that's it. "There's something you all should know before you go volunteering like  
that."  
  
Picking up his glass of tea, now quite cold, Ranma looked over the four. He thought this would eliminate some or all of the prospects. "While we were travelling, looking for new magic to learn and practice, my old man heard some things about a plane of existence known as the Faerie Realm."  
  
"The Land Of Mists & Change, Where Chaos Dwells and transmutation magicks are at their strongest, where the nature within shapes the nature without." Nabiki smirked as she saw Ranma's surprise. "Hey, we're a family of espers with a direct descent from a Norse godling, don't expect us to be ignorant about such things."  
  
"Mister Saotome, how could you do something so dangerous? Don't you know that no-one who enters the Faerie Mists returns unchanged?" Kasumi didn't even bother looking over at Genma, she was watching Ranma  
with a friendly smile and blushing slightly.  
  
"Ah, no." Genma held up a travel book. It could be clearly seen that the text was written in Old Atlantean, but the picture labels were in Japanese.  
  
"I take it you don't read Atlantean."  
  
"Bingo." Genma said just before the cold tea hit him. His form blurred and a panda was now glaring at his son.  
  
"Inner natures are revealed, huh, pop! Should have known you'd have a totem like Panda." Ranma poured the remainder of the tea on himself.  
  
"Panda," read Nabiki from her copy of "Twodog's Guide To Totems & Familiar Spirits." She flipped it open and read silently the entry that related Panda to Weasel and mentioned one should expect a low moral character from such totem-bearers. Nabiki nodded to herself, no  
surprises there.  
  
Ranma's form shrank as soon as the tea hit it, becoming just a little over five feet in height. He became female, the hair turning red, the eyes turning a brilliant blue, a faint glow seeming to appear around her.  
  
"Interesting, looks like a power up." Akane was interested in this, after all, if it had to do with fighting she was quite intrigued.  
  
"My mother is a valkyrie in mortal guise," Ranma said. "This form reflects that side of my heritage."  
  
"Well Ranma, why don't you go take a bath? We need to talk to Daddy anyway."  
  
"OK," Ranma considered arguing but he wanted time to think this over. This had not been expected, the pattern of the past few years having become thoroughly disrupted.  
  
Kasumi led Ranma upstairs to where his room was, and Nabiki waited until Ranma had come back down and gone down the hall to the furo before she turned to Shampoo.  
  
"Okay, Shampoo, spill the beans."  
  
"What you mean, Nabiki?"  
  
"You didn't react to him until you heard the guy's name, then suddenly you're all anxious to get connected. What gives?"  
  
Shampoo blushed and started playing with her fingers. "Is like this, you know great grandmama Cologne? She say watch for boy name Ranma, he 'diamond in rough' - you marry him and much honor to tribe."  
  
"Hmmm. Something more than I thought is going on here." Nabiki steepled her hands and looked at Shampoo with a flat gaze. "You two," she indicated her father and Ranma's father with her thumb, "get ready  
to marry off a Tendo and a Saotome. Shampoo's great grandmother wants Shampoo to marry a Ranma. The obvious solution is to have Shampoo Tendo marry Ranma."  
  
"Shampoo think so too. Everybody happy."  
  
"Except," Nabiki glared at Shampoo. "It's too contrived. I think I'm going to have to examine this all very carefully. I do NOT like being manipulated. I'll bet this was why Cologne hid the evidence of you still having family until AFTER the adoption was done."  
  
"Aiyahh. You right."  
  
Nabiki stood up and fixed the two fathers with the look that gave her the title "Ice Queen" of Furinkan. "You two hold off on your little plans, by the time the month is out, I should have more info."  
  
--------  
  
Cologne watched the scrying pool in the Amazon Village. Nabiki had figured it out sooner than had been expected, but the situation with Shampoo had been engineered on the spot anyway.  
  
Cologne smiled. Things could still work out.  
  
---------  
  
Ice that had been ancient when the Egyptian sorcerers had fallen into disfavor with Akunaten cracked as Frostbite moved slightly. Things were progressing. It had, after all, been foreseen.  
  
Ja ne,  
  
Gregg  
  
  



	3. School Is No Place For Hexing Around

The Art____Chapter 3:   
School Is No Place For Hexing Around  
  
by GreggSharp Metroanime@mindspring.com  
  
Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by Fred Perry, Sailor Moon (c) VIZ. i don't have money so don't sue me, hire me and we can BOTH make money.  
  
part 2 was going to be the last, since there are so many "Ranma Mage" stories apparently being worked on, but due to some positive response, i'll be waiting to see if the other stories parallel mine before i   
discontinue this story arc.  
  
Note 2: Since this story originally was written back in 98 or so, i haven't seen the vast majority of these other promised stories. Anyone know if any of them were completed? -gregg  
  
-------  
  
"School, huh?" Ranma shrugged. "What kinda school?"  
  
"Just pretend you DON'T know me," Akane glared at him.  
  
"Akane right, Ranma, Shampoo take you to school. Or maybe you want play hookey?"  
  
"Now, now, Shampoo. No pressure, remember?" Nabiki smiled thoughtfully. "Though some of my business transactions could be helped along by appearing to have a friendly affectionate side..."  
  
"Everybody know Nabiki, nobody buy that."  
  
Nabiki pouted, then shrugged. Shampoo might have a point.  
  
"Ranma," Kasumi stepped up to hand Ranma's lunch to him, delicately blushing as her fingers brushed his as he took it from her.  
  
Ranma froze up again. It occurred to almost everyone present that he could fight demons from hell, deal with misshapen creatures of Faerie, and face down evil sorcerers without a qualm. Just one shyly flirting girl though, and he started falling apart.  
  
Shampoo and Nabiki exchanged a look, nodded, then each grabbed an arm and started dragging Ranma off to school.  
  
"Boys," Akane muttered as she shook her head at the insanity of it all.  
  
Ranma finally started walking under his own power, and Nabiki and Shampoo seemed at a loss for something to say. Ranma reviewed the spells he had handy and wondered about the mechanics necessary for  
a Repel Water spell. Maybe a weave of Air and Fire, or Spirit and Air.  
  
When they came within sight of the school, Ranma stopped. A crowd of boys was visible, and most had weapons of some kind. "What the..."  
  
"Stay out of this, this is my fight!" Akane ran forward, joined a moment later by Shampoo.  
  
A boxer rushed forward to be first. "Akane Tendo I love you!" *CRUNCH!*  
  
Nabiki passed Ranma, then glanced back. Ranma was seemingly mesmerized by how Shampoo turned a fight with a mob into a dance. Shaking her head, she went up to her classroom.  
  
Ranma was fascinated by the different styles of combat. Akane used some skill, but relied on her telekinetically enhanced strength more than anything else. Akane literally threw her opponents around as  
a juggernaut of destruction.  
  
Ranma turned his gaze to Shampoo. The Amazon leapt, twirled, and spun in such a way that opponents often found themselves attacking each other while their target had just vanished before them. Shampoo relied mainly on speed and skill, occasionally striking pressure points as she passed. Akane's fight was a free-for-all, Shampoo's fight was a ballet.  
  
*CRUNCH!*  
  
Ranma winced as the fight went from Swan Lake to The Nutcracker. "That's gotta hurt."  
  
Akane finally stood atop a mound of apparently broken and bleeding bodies. Shampoo made a graceful landing after having done a flying suplex on one of her opponents, apparently deciding that if it was worth doing, it was worth doing gracefully.  
  
"Showoff," muttered Akane to Shampoo as she approached her adopted sister. "Just have to show off in front of your iinazuke, don't you?"  
  
"Like Akane not more violent than ever," said Shampoo in the same quiet tone. "Not that Akane would show ai ren how good a fighter she is."  
  
Ranma clapped and walked over to Shampoo, clearly impressed. "That was great, I don't think I've ever seen that Amazon Nerve Pinch performed through plastic shoulder pads before."  
  
Shampoo blushed and looked down. "Aiyaaaaa."  
  
"Oh please," Akane managed to look nauseated. "Be still my stomach."  
  
A single red rose slapped through the air, to be stopped as if it hit an invisible wall three feet from Akane. The rose then smouldered briefly before burning with a great amount of foul smoke.  
  
Kuno stepped out from the trees and stopped in the middle of a pose. "How earthlier happy is the rose distilled, than the rose which on the virgin thorn, which grows, withers, and dies in single blessedness. Hey, you two! Excuse me!"  
  
Shampoo was blushing and glancing over at Ranma, who was complimenting her on her obvious expertise on shiatsu spots and superior agility when in the mob battle. Akane was glowing blue, clenching her teeth, and trying to ignore what was going on  
behind her.  
  
"No, really," Ranma was saying. "I've met Valkyries that fight with less precision and, well, STYLE! You're really really good."  
  
"Aiyaaa. Ranma just saying that, you no serious." Shampoo was turning quite red now and couldn't seem to meet Ranma's eyes.  
  
"No, I'm quite serious. Sometime can you show me that move where you..."  
  
"EXCUSE. ME." Kuno twitched. How dare they ignore him. "How dare you ignore the great Tatewaki Kuno, the rising star of Furinkan's kendo club, the Blue Thunder of Nerima?" Lightning cracked as Kuno  
raised his bokken over his head.  
  
"Ranma, you really think so?"   
  
"Sure! I think you've got enormous talent there Shampoo. I've had to learn some martial arts 'cause it focusses the mind and body, but you're much better at it than I am. (Course if we were to have a magical battle, you'd be toast.)"  
  
"RANMAAAAA! We're going to be late!" Akane grabbed Ranma's pigtail and started towards the door.   
  
Kuno raced ahead of Akane to block the main doors to the high school. "EXCUSE ME!"  
  
"Oh, Kuno, when did you get here?" Akane looked puzzled. Kuno slumped a little bit. They hadn't been faking, he hadn't even managed to be a successful annoyance so far. This could not be withstood.  
  
"You there," Kuno pointed at the boy being dragged into the school by Akane. "Aren't you being a little forward with Akane Tendo?"  
  
"What would you suggest I do?" Ranma asked the kendoist with an upraised eyebrow. "And how does being dragged into a building constitute being 'forward'?"  
  
"Kuno not worry. Akane no interested in Ranma, Ranma is Shampoo's fiance! Akane lesbian anyway."  
  
"WHAT?!?" Kuno and a few dozen students all exclaimed at the same time. "F-f-fiance?"  
  
Akane whirled and glared at her sister. "HEY! He's my iinazuke TOO, you haven't won yet!"  
  
"F-f-fiance? I-i-iinazuke?" Kuno stared at the boy in confusion. How could this Ranma have come out of nowhere and done what he, the great Tatewaki Kuno, had been trying to do for months now? "Foul sorcerer! How dare you use your magic to beguile the fair Akane Tendo and the tigress Shampoo Tendo?"  
  
"Mind control spells? Give me a break, moron," Ranma waved it off. "Everybody knows that mind control spells can be blocked and detected way too damn easily. The really powerful ones just go wrong too much of the time to be useful anyway. The only spell that I've got   
that even comes close is 'Mostly Harmless' and you'd know if someone got tagged with that one."  
  
Kuno moved to attack, "you admit you are a foul sorcerer! DIE THEN!"   
  
Ranma formed the pattern of Air woven with Spirit. "This is 'Mostly Harmless' for your future reference."  
  
"No!" Akane launched herself. "Kuno is here to fight me, so DON'T get involved, BAKA!"  
  
"Uh oh." Ranma watched as his spell slammed into the wrong target. He formed another pattern, this one of Spirit and Earth, sending a "Healing Sleep" spell into Kuno.  
  
"Aiya. What wrong with Akane?"  
  
Akane was sitting on her knees, a childish smile on her face, and looking at something that only she could see. "Pretty. So pretty. Look at all the colors." Her voice had a sing-song childish tone to it.  
  
"She got in the way of the 'Mostly Harmless' spell. It triggers a massive charge of endorphins, stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain, as well as some other minor effects."  
  
"oooooh. wow." Akane was now laying down and staring at the sky. "I feel good, da da da da da duh da. You knew that I would now. da da da daa dee dah dah..."  
  
"So how long this last?" Shampoo thought it was kind of amusing. It was rare to see Akane smile, much less so unreservedly.  
  
"Weeeeeeeeeee." Akane said before starting to giggle. "Sooooo beautiful. I feeeeel nice, like sugar and spice now! Da da da da da da duh. So good, so good, I gotta sing now..."  
  
"Depends. I used a short duration, so it should be about five minutes."  
  
"Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coco-nuts!"  
  
"Class start in one minute."  
  
"Hear the river tell the lark goodbye..."  
  
"You honestly think she'll be able to attend class with her pleasure centers stimulated like that?"  
  
Both looked at Akane who was now rolling back and forth singing "How does he love me? I wanna know. How can I tell if he loves me so?"  
  
"Can do sleep spell again?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"It better if she asleep than awake like this."  
  
"Agreed." Ranma concentrated, forming the weave and hitting Akane with it. "Minimum duration, she'll be out for at least another five minutes."  
  
Shampoo looked up at the crowd who were still watching the whole thing. "Is okay?"  
  
"Aw damn. I wanted to hear her sing some more." There were a half dozen complaints but more people were curious than anything else. At least five planned to do something that would get this "Ranma" to cast 'Mostly Harmless' on them later.  
  
Ranma and Shampoo carried Akane to class. Nabiki noticed they'd forgotten something, but there wasn't time for her to do something about it anyway. Class was starting.  
  
It started to rain. In all the excitement everyone had forgotten about Kuno, who proceeded to become very thoroughly wet.  
  
---------  
  
Ranma shifted with his buckets, looking at the still sleeping form of Akane, then over to Shampoo who had a rather resigned look on her face.  
  
"So this Kuno guy made a speech and now he's promised to beat the snot out of anyone who tries to date either of you without defeating you in combat first. Is he an Amazon or something? That sounds almost like their 'dating by combat' rules."  
  
"Ranma know Amazon Law?"  
  
"Well sure, I got to read a lot of stuff when I was younger, learned speed reading and mnemonic stuff that helps when you're reading spells and the like. One of 'em was a book on the Chinese Amazons."  
  
"Ah. Not know where Kuno get crazy idea. Think he just bully and he wanted excuse." Shampoo glanced down. "Akane sleeping very peaceful."  
  
"That's a side effect of that spell. It combines the effects of a sleeping spell with a healing trance. Heals the body and mind, which is why I've kept that one. I've forgotten the pattern for the basic sleep spell, since this one is so useful."  
  
Shampoo thought for a moment. "So Ranma want to spar later? I use special techniques, you use magic?"  
  
"Come on, Shampoo, you're too obvious." Ranma smiled at her. She _was_ cute and her grin was infectious. "You want me to defeat you in combat."  
  
Shampoo continued her grin and shrugged. Her smile turned to a wince as she looked past Ranma.  
  
Ranma jumped up as Kuno came running in.  
  
"Evil Sorcerer, release your hold on the two Tendo girls and release them also from your engagement!"  
  
Ranma looked over Kuno like he was inspecting a bug. "Who're you calling a sorcerer? Like you're an expert in the Arts Magical?"  
  
"Silence, wretch!" Kuno swung his bokken and almost connected with Ranma.   
  
"That's it!" Ranma grabbed the bokken. "LIGHTNING GRIP." Ribbons of lightning formed from the Air/Fire pattern that Ranma formed. Snaking through Tatewaki Kuno, the overall effect was similar to being hit with a taser several times.  
  
Still asleep, Akane started to sing "Lightning is striking me again, and again, and again."  
  
Kuno, his clothes smouldering, slumped to the floor.  
  
Ranma looked down at Kuno who was thoroughly out of it at this time. "What a jerk."  
  
"Is it true? Are you really engaged?" The windows had opened behind Ranma and Shampoo and a large number of classmates were excited about the prospect. A fair number of the guys seemed to be either annoyed (he's taken Shampoo and/or Akane off the available list!) or relieved (finally I can go after someone a little more sane.) The women largely seemed enthusiastic about the whole thing. An idea of widespread popularity (that even had the teacher smiling) was the concept that the morning battles were now a thing of the past.  
  
Akane chose at that moment to start snoring.  
  
--------  
  
"Yup, our families decided on this thing." Nabiki informed her little crowd.  
  
"He is SO cute." One of the girls sighed dreamily. "I wish he was MY fiancee."  
  
"He's some kind of wizard? I thought those weren't for real."  
  
"Hey, if they have youma in Juuban, why can't we have a mighty sorcerer?"  
  
"You suppose he knows Gandalf? Or Merlin?"  
  
"Do you suppose he could put a curse on my ex-boyfriend?"  
  
"Hmmmm." Nabiki thought about this. Money wasn't in short supply, her investments were coming along quite well, but a little extra never hurt. "I'll check into this and get back to you."  
  
--------  
  
Cologne smiled as she watched the scrying pool. Things were going well between Shampoo and Ranma. This was just as she had planned.  
  
-------  
  
Ice continued to crack and split as a glacier in the Antarctic found something within was forcing its way out. The Great Dragon watched the scene in Nerima as well, so far it had all gone as foreseen.  
  
==============================  
  
Hopefully i'll be able to find copies of Neutral Ground and Dragon's Destiny and get them up sometime soon.  
  
ja ne,  
gregg 


	4. A Silly Storm Of Love

The Art____Chapter 4:   
A Silly Storm Of Love  
  
by GreggSharp Metroanime@mindspring.com  
  
Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by Fred Perry, Sailor Moon (c) VIZ.  
i don't have money so don't sue me, hire me and we can BOTH make money.  
  
=======  
  
Tatewaki Kuno readied his bokken, glad that there was no crowd of lesser talent to detract attention from him today. No, he had gone home in a funk yesterday and found Sasuke watching a movie. A movie that had revealed to him how to defeat the foul sorcerer Saotome.  
  
Now with his "secret weapon" ready, he was finally rewarded with the sight of Akane and Shampoo Tendo racing towards the school. Behind them was the evil one himself.  
  
Ranma saw Kuno waiting there in front of him, and didn't want to be late to school again. He briefly sprinted ahead of the two girls.  
  
The pattern was of Fire with a trace of Spirit. It was a very familiar spell to Ranma, one of his favorites. "FIRE BALL!"  
  
There was an explosion at the gates of Furinkan High School, it was fairly impressive to the vast majority of people there. That it was only half strength was not immediately apparent.  
  
Passing the unconscious form of Kuno, the three made it on time to class.  
  
Nabiki looked down at Kuno, feeling a pang of sympathy. Then she noted his "secret weapon" and smiled. Oh, this WOULD be interesting.  
  
-------  
  
Kuno entered class late and suffered the usual penalty. The good thing was that by this time his clothes had stopped smouldering.  
  
Nabiki smirked at him when he finally rejoined the class. "Guess a full frontal assault isn't a good tactic in this situation, is it?"  
  
Kuno muttered something about trickery and didn't look at his neighbor.  
  
"You know, Kuno-baby, even the great samurai like Ieyasu and Musashi used a strategy."  
  
"How much?" Kuno spoke barely loud enough to be heard.  
  
"Hey, for 500 yen, a steal at that price, I can suggest a manner you can be guaranteed to fight up front and personal. Though there is one other condition..."  
  
The coin was quickly placed on her desk. He glanced at her, waiting for Nabiki to continue.  
  
"Personal honor is a big thing to Ranma, almost as much as it is to you. Make it a personal challenge for honor and you'll have him right where you want him."  
  
Kuno considered this. "And your condition?"  
  
"Defeat him by all means. Liberate my two sisters from his control. Hurt him if you must, but I want him alive."  
  
"Has he ensorcelled you too, Nabiki Tendo?"  
  
"Hardly. No, I want him for reasons of my own."   
  
"As you will, as soon as he gives up his claim to Shampoo and Akane, I will let him live with the knowledge of his defeat at the hands of Tatewaki Kuno."  
  
---------  
  
"A formal letter of challenge?" Ranma looked from the letter to Kuno.  
  
"Meet me at the school's baseball diamond today after school. I call an honor duel to prove who has the right to court the fair Shampoo and the fierce Akane Tendo."  
  
Ranma glanced up from the letter. "Why did you write it down if you were gonna read it to me?"  
  
"Urrr. How come it's always Shampoo who gets the 'fair' or 'beauteous' tags and all I ever get are phrases like 'fierce' or 'tigress'?"  
  
"Akane, just yesterday Kuno say Shampoo tigress and call you fair. Or maybe he just confused."   
  
Since mages had to have a fair control over their tongues, Ranma avoided saying anything at this point.  
  
"Aiyaa. Ranma you go to this fight?"  
  
"Hey, it's an honor challenge. I gotta go." Ranma glanced back to Kuno. "So what's it to be? You've obviously got a plan here. Standard rules, First Blood, or what?"  
  
"Ring battle, using the infield as the ring. Standard rules." Which meant that defeat was to be knocked outside the "ring", to give up or be unable to continue would end the match.  
  
"Fair enough, but don't you think they should choose for themselves who they can pursue or be pursued by?"  
  
"That is, indeed, the objective." Kuno turned and left, fully confident that by this time tomorrow the two Tendo girls would be his.  
  
The three watched him leave, then shrugged. The next class was about to begin anyway.  
  
-----  
  
By the scheduled time of the battle, a fairly large crowd had appeared. Nabiki, of course, moved through the crowds taking bets. Akane and Shampoo were in the Visitors bench area with Ranma. Akane fuming at Ranma for getting himself in "such a stupid predicament" while Shampoo was worried about Ranma and coaching him in the weak points in Kuno's defense.  
  
It would have been a lot easier to take the duel seriously without Kasumi showing up with a picnic lunch, both Soun and Genma in tow.   
  
"Hmmmph." Ranma looked at his father stuffing himself on sandwiches. "Kasumi, I sure hope you put one aside for me, otherwise oyaji there will have actually started on the basket by the time this is done."   
  
"So why don't you use a 'Fire Ball' again and just get it over with," Akane tried to be nice. Kasumi and Shampoo were nice to Ranma and he tended to lock up in their presence, go figure.  
  
"Duh, Akane. Look at the crowd. Fire Ball's an explosive spell with a fair radius. If it was just Kuno, sure no problem, I'd just toast him and he'd collapse."   
  
"Wizard battles not cut and dried, Akane," said Shampoo with a nod. "See occasional fight among Amazon mages. Is like game of shogi or chess, you have to think ahead, see your opponent's move and counter.  
  
"In this case, ai ren please finish quick." Shampoo smiled at Ranma. "Shampoo place bet on you finish fight within five minutes."  
  
"Actually, Shampoo, I was wondering something." Ranma wondered how to put this. He didn't want to insult her, though he didn't really want to be engaged to her either. "You've spent a lot of your life in Japan, why do you talk like that?"  
  
"Like? Ah! Shampoo have hard time with Japanese language. Shampoo speak Mandarin, Tibetan, Cantonese, English, French, and Ancient Greek okay but never got hang of Japanese. Shampoo very direct, Japanese language not very direct. Philosophical difference maybe?"  
  
"Uh, yeah." Ranma blinked. "Allrighty then. I guess I better get on with the duel since Kuno's finally gotten here. What's with the bag?"  
  
Kuno had two of his fellow swordsmen bring a huge sack into the infield. He then stood next to it and began a long speech that nobody was particularly interested in hearing.  
  
"What's with the scrolls, anyway?" Akane noted that Ranma was carrying a leather side pouch with a few rolled up parchments in it.  
  
"Oh, you know that 'Anything Goes' magery is a generalist style- whatever works, you know. Well, there's some spells that you've really got to be a specialist to carry off properly, or that I just   
haven't had a chance to learn properly. Like I can do a simple healing spell to set a broken arm, but if someone got massive internal injuries I'd be pretty lost. You gotta REALLY be up on healing spells for that."  
  
"So in keeping with the Saotome school philosophy of whatever works, you've got scrolls of spells that you might need as backup." Ranma jumped as Kasumi spoke, he hadn't heard her come up behind him.  
  
"Well, gotta get into the fight," Ranma said, recovering. (How the heck did she sneak up on me? Dummy, she's an esper, she probably used some psychic trick.)  
  
Kuno was waiting at the pitcher's mound, still going on about how he would free his two loves from the hold that the sorcerer had them under.   
  
Ranma centered himself, finding his wa. The time for speeches, he felt, was AFTER the battle was won. He'd seen far too many egomaniacs not to have come to that conclusion.  
  
"Now, SAOTOME, I shall defeat you!" Kuno threw an object forcefully at Ranma.  
  
Ranma formed a pattern. "Shield." Then he blinked. Kuno had just thrown a necklace made of garlic at him. "Excuse me? Do I LOOK like a vampire?"  
  
"Laugh this off then!"  
  
"A cross? I didn't know you were Christian..."  
  
"Die fool!"  
  
"Um, Kuno. Wolvesbane is for werewolves. You want to fight werewolves go quarrel with Greenpeace."  
  
"Then take this!"  
  
"Oh no," Ranma said in a voice dripping in sarcasm. "A shinto anti-demon ward, whatever shall I do? Oh, the horror."  
  
"Silence, wretch!"  
  
"Now THIS is interesting. I'm not entirely sure what this is supposed to be." Ranma resisted the impulse to drop the Shield spell. Kuno still had the bokken.  
  
"Then try this!" Kuno threw a bucket at Ranma, who was still trying to figure out what the heck this ball of knotted twine and feathers was that Kuno had thrown at him.  
  
*SPLASH!*  
  
Ranma-chan, dripping wet, made a mental note to find out if anyone actually had a Repel Water spell she could copy the pattern for. Just her luck it would be a specialty spell.  
  
The glamourie immediately took hold, she could tell from the effects on the male portion of the crowd. Once again, Ranma cursed her father (not literally) for annoying that elven mage.  
  
Nabiki closed her eyes. "Good grief, he actually DID think of the 'Wizard Of Oz' as reference material..."  
  
"Truly a goddess made flesh," Kuno said as his eyes tracked Ranma's form in the now-wet shirt. "So it was true, that the evil is washed away by the purity of water, leaving only the good and wholesome behind. Ah, pigtailed girl, tell me...oof!"  
  
Ranma had imbedded her fist into Kuno's face. Hopping back, she readied a pattern then another and another, her chi flaring in anger. "CHI BOLT! ICE HAWK! FLAME FIST! LIGHTNING FLARE!"  
  
Kuno arced upwards, his body jerking as each successive blast slammed into him, finally coming down just on the other side of the crowd.  
  
At that point, the male portion of crowd, or at least those who were proving that they weren't thinking with the head atop their shoulders, mobbed forward.   
  
Ranma shrieked as she was suddenly surrounded. A Fire Ball at this range would place herself within ground zero. Hide wouldn't help either as she was already in the crowd. "Heeeelllllpppp!" Panic.  
  
She noted in some little portion of her mind, that Akane was laughing herself silly, Shampoo was looking disgusted, and Nabiki was nowhere to be seen.  
  
Ranma tried to form the pattern for a Leap spell but having to fend off probing hands was thoroughly wrecking her concentration.  
  
Someone heard her, and she appreciated the rescue more than words could convey. Kasumi, radiating disapproval, had the crowd retreating in moments, managing to cut through the glamourie by focussing her own abilities in a counterpoint.  
  
Shakily, Ranma allowed herself to be drawn in for a hug. Maybe it was just that projective telepathy of Kasumi's but it just felt so RIGHT there.  
  
"It's okay. They're gone," murmured Kasumi to the girl shuddering in her arms.   
  
Shampoo watched, shocked into immobility a second time. First the crowd of men practically attacking Ranma, then Ranma clinging to KASUMI? Well, Akane was no competition, so she'd dismissed the shy  
Kasumi as being no problem. Nabiki was tricky, you could never tell what she was planning. But KASUMI?!?   
  
---------  
  
Meanwhile, two figures crossed a desert, arguing as they had been for the past few months.  
  
"This is the LAST time I let you lead."  
  
"Oh SHUT UP! Curse you, Ranma, I'll find you, and THEN I'LL MAKE YOU PAY!"  
  
"Shouting about it ain't gonna help, y'know."  
  
"Oh, go play with your spatulas!"  
  
----------------  
  
coming next: The Art 5 "Enter Ryouga, Eternally Lost Boy, and Ukyou Can Cook."  
  
"Can I cook, or can't I?"  
  
"Oh shuttup you oversexed [censored]!"  
  
"Actually that would be a werewolf, sugar, and you KNOW I'm not the lycanthrope here. Besides you're just jealous 'cause you don't get even a reference to it in this fic."  
  
"You just talk big anyway, I happen to know you've never [censored]."  
  
"Just wait." *snicker*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Enter Ryouga

The Art____Chapter 5:   
Enter Ryouga, The Eternal Lost Boy & Ukyou Can Cook (in more ways than one)  
  
by GreggSharp   
  
Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by Fred Perry.  
  
---------  
  
Two figures came out of what the locals thought of as a dead-end alley and looked around with hope beginning to show on their faces.  
  
"The signs, they're in Japanese!"  
  
"I see 'em," the girl looked for a street sign. "We're in KOBE!" The elation faded. "Ryouga, do you remember what happened four years ago?"  
  
"Uhm, we got lost?"  
  
Ukyou glared at him. "We both have reasons for chasing after Ranma Saotome, but as I recall you had said something about how we would catch up with Ranma in no time."  
  
Ryouga laughed a little bit and rubbed the back of his head. "Uhm gee, it's been so long, I don't quite recall."  
  
"Have you noticed the intersection? That this is the same intersection we left FOUR YEARS AGO!" Ukyou's glare intensified. "We've gone through all this crap only to make a four-year full-CIRCLE!"  
  
"Don't worry, Ukyou, we know where he's going thanks to that old woman we met in the Hegemony. All we need to do is catch the train to Tokyo. Easy." With a cocky grin, Ryouga started walking.  
  
After watching Ryouga continue due South, Ukyou turned to the North and looked at the train station. With a sigh and a shrug, Ukyou decided that the past four years had been entirely too long with the stubborn wereswine.  
  
Funny how thinking about everything that Ryouga had put her through gave Ukyou a hankering for porkchops.  
  
------  
  
"This bad."  
  
"You can say that again."  
  
"This bad."  
  
Nabiki didn't look amused. "Look, I'm the first to admit that when a plan goes awry it's more often than not some factor overlooked or discounted. The old saying about 'the entropy factor of any given situation increases exponentially when humans are involved' is quite true."  
  
They both looked through the door to where Kasumi and Ranma were sitting at a table, having a cup of tea and talking.  
  
"Did not think of Kasumi as rival."  
  
"I discounted her myself. In retrospect, this was an oversight. With her projective empathy and kind nature, she can make others feel nice just being around her. Right now, she's being affected by the glamourie even though it's weaker in the male form."  
  
"So he making her feel hot and bothered, and she projecting that. Aiyaa. No wonder both blushing." Shampoo considered her adopted sister. "So what we do, Nabiki?"  
  
"First, we get out of range ourselves." Nabiki tugged at her collar, noting how hot and restrictive her clothing had seemed to get in the past few minutes. The idea of a feedback loop between the two occurred to her, which caused her considerable anxiety. "Next we try to  
find a way to awaken the triclops."  
  
"You sure about that 'Biki? No telling what triclops do. Might just hurt Ranma, maybe worse."   
  
"Calculated risk. If those two keep going at it like that, we're likely to find Kasumi doing some very out-of-character things before long."  
  
Shampoo glanced at the two and tried to think of what would be impossible behavior for Kasumi. Her eyes crossed as an image of Kasumi and Ranma [censored] on the table, their [censored censored] as they   
[censored].(1)  
  
Nabiki noted Shampoo's eyes crossing and wondered exactly where her adopted sister's imagination was running. She thought she could awaken the triclops before the two kissed, and the triclops' mental shields should shrug the glamourie off like a duck to water.  
  
------  
  
"So why did those boys mob you when you turned female?" Kasumi blew gently on the tea, watching Ranma's face carefully. "That glamourie isn't that strong."  
  
"You and your sisters have mental defenses. It's another little curse picked up in the Faerie Realm, essentially a turbo-charged sex appeal effect. Pops offended an elven mage and, per usual, I'm the one who had to pay the tab. Those guys were surprised, any mental defenses they might of had were down, so they just acted like they were faced with their favorite idol singer or something. Ick. I REALLY got to thank you for that, I was about to use a Fire Ball just to get all those hands off me."  
  
"You've already thanked me several times, Ranma." Kasumi drew a finger across the lip of her cup. "It was easier for me to do this than it would have been for one of my sisters."  
  
-------  
  
People ran out of the way as Ryouga's wereform, a boar the size of a Volkswagon minibus, charged through the city streets, a scent having finally reached his sensitive nose. Now if he could just avoid his curse of Wandering, he would finally reach his hated foe.  
  
Oh yeah, if he could also avoid calming down so that his lycanthropy didn't get overwhelmed by the Faerie curse.  
  
--------  
  
Nabiki pulled out the artifact. It was the one absolutely sure way that she could bring the triclops out. Getting a VERY long stick, she snuck downstairs with it.  
  
Shampoo was sitting at the table with Ranma and Kasumi, having decided that this would keep the two from trying anything. Unfortunately, she now realized that this put her quite within Kasumi's   
projective field.  
  
Ranma was trying to figure out what was going on, without much success. Still shaking (more from nausea than fear) at the thought of what could have happened on the field, he had been having a nice little  
talk with Kasumi when Shampoo pulled up a chair.  
  
What really puzzled Ranma was the way Kasumi would pout, immediately followed by Shampoo. Every time Kasumi reacted to some statement, Shampoo mirrored it. He couldn't detect a curse, but there was some really odd enchantment on Kasumi.  
  
Then there was the appearance of that googly eyed spider puppet dangling from a string near the staircase. When had that appeared there? And who was that looking in the window?  
  
----------------  
  
Ryouga shifted forms back to human and glanced inside. There was Ranma, finally. No mere wall could keep him from getting his revenge!  
  
Ryouga ripped the wall apart, smashing his way through a cabinet and the refrigerator. "VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE! RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!"  
  
Kasumi shrieked, turned, and saw the shattered remains of dinner. Her chocolate layer cake, following a Western recipe her sister had just downloaded, had become a spatter against the floor.  
  
Ranma and Shampoo leapt out of the way as a section of cabinet was batted by Ryouga into their table.  
  
"My...dinner. My favorite teacup..." Kasumi looked down, the bangs of her hair completely hiding her face.  
  
"SHUT UP! You have no idea of what I've been through thanks to Ranma."  
  
Nabiki looked around the corner. The fuzzy spider (something which had terrified Kasumi when they were all younger) hadn't worked, but THIS might do it without her interference. In fact, maybe this would work TOO well.  
  
"Do you have any idea how long I worked on that cake?" Kasumi's voice had gone to a whisper.  
  
"I don't CARE about your STUPID cake!"  
  
Ranma noted two things, martial arts and magery having made him observant about sudden changes in his environment. Shampoo suddenly had the sort of expression one would expect if a live grenade had just been thrown into her lap. Nabiki was out in the hallway...praying?  
  
"It was chocolate," whispered Kasumi. A slight tremor went through her. "Real chocolate, not that funny tasting Japanese stuff..."  
  
"Ranma, because of you, I have been to the Gates Of Hell!"  
  
"Aw man, that's a tourist trap if I've ever seen one," Ranma formed a pattern while speaking. "Shield." He formed a second pattern and held it ready. His eyes tracked a bit of movement and he noted a battleaura beginning to form around this strange man who had just come through the wall. "I'm really sorry if you ended up there, but what's that got to do with me?"  
  
"We were having beef sukiyaki today to celebrate Ranma's victory," Kasumi whispered. A little spark of lightning seemed to flash around her right hand.  
  
Shampoo decided that the entry to the kitchen wasn't safe and decided to watch this from across the street. Say, maybe the street two blocks over. Oddly enough Nabiki was already there.  
  
"Enough talk! DIE, RANMA!"  
  
Kasumi's head came up. A third eye opened in her forehead. Her canine teeth extended into fangs. She began to float a few inches off the ground, surrounded by an aura of red.  
  
Ranma, being a mage and therefore able to pick up on subtle cues that a martial artist might miss, strengthened his Shield spell and prepared to use Hide.  
  
"MIRV," said the Triclops that looked a bit like Kasumi.  
  
----------  
  
Ukyou left the train station, wondering if she was at the right station. A meteor landed about ten yards away, plowing through one of those plastic Colonel Sanders statues before finally coming to rest in a McDonald's playpen.  
  
The smell of roast pork brought her close enough to notice that it was Ryouga. Her eyes widened. Someone had burned a set of kanji onto his chest. It looked like the word "BAKA."  
  
Ukyou's thumbs got that prickly sensation, and she moved away from Ryouga. A woman teleported in and turned slowly to face the Lost Boy. "YOU. BROKE. MY. FAVORITE. CUP."  
  
"Hah?!" Ryouga struggled to get up.  
  
Ukyou watched a dumpster float overhead without any apparent support. It took a position directly over Ryouga and seemed to hang there for just a moment.  
  
*CLONG!*  
  
"You RUINED dinner. We're gonna have to eat Cup Ramen or Akane's cooking, now!"  
  
*CLONG!* Parts of the dumpster were now coming off. The playpen looked decidedly worse for the wear.  
  
"AND WORSE! Do you realize how long it's been since I've had decent chocolate!"  
  
*CLONG! CLANG! CRUNCH! CRINCH!* *Rattle* The remains of the dumpster settled into place.  
  
He attacked her chocolate, Ukyou realized what the woman was saying. She would have expected such behavior from that Mousse guy they'd met coming out of Faerie, but Ryouga? "That must have been some chocolate."  
  
Kasumi turned towards the woman.  
  
Ukyou blanched when she realized she'd spoken aloud. "Oops."  
  
"It was a chocolate hazelnut cake using real Belgian cocoa and a kahlua-based icing. Damn wereboar."  
  
Ukyou blinked. She watched as the third eye in the woman's forehead slowly closed, and the woman almost fainted. Ukyou was there to catch her. "Damn, sugar, you exhausted yourself."  
  
Ryouga groaned under the remains of the dumpster.  
  
"Sugar," Ukyou called out to him. "You just stay there and let your lycanthrope healing factor cut in. I'll take care of this."  
  
"Must get home," Kasumi mumbled.  
  
"Well, just give me the directions, honey, and I'll take you there. Then maybe you can tell me where I can find someone I'm looking for."  
  
------  
  
"Oh, don't worry, Ranma." Nabiki shrugged it off. "Kasumi, even as the Triclops, doesn't kill. It's still Kasumi, it's just that the regular Kasumi is all the yang and the Triclops is all the yin. Or do I have it backwards?"  
  
"She right. Kasumi not killer."  
  
"Then why did you two run?" Ranma kept looking over at the sleeping Kasumi. She looked so vulnerable and innocent while sleeping, but Ranma remembered the Triclops.  
  
"Not kill not same as not hurt."   
  
"From what she said, she knew Ryouga was a wereboar, so didn't feel the need to hold back." Ukyou glanced over at the sleeping Kasumi.  
  
"Don't worry, whenever the Triclops manifests it pretty much wears her out." Nabiki smirked. It hadn't worked exactly as planned, but now that Ranma had found out about the Triclops, Kasumi would be out of the running.  
  
"Uhm. Oh yeah, Ukyou, I wanted to ask you something." Ranma sipped on his Cupstar brand ramen.(2)  
  
"Yes, Ranchan?" Ukyou flushed. Ranma had turned out to be SO good looking when he'd grown up.  
  
"Why were you looking for me that you'd tag along with Ryouga. That's a pretty desperate thing to do."  
  
"Why? Hell, I'd follow my fiance anywhere!" Ukyou winced as she remembered the visit to the Gates Of Hell. She would have been far more comfortable to have kept thinking of it merely as a place with horned  
red-skinned deformed pan knockoffs with pitchforks than to have actually seen the place. The Gift Shop and "Hell's Kitchen III" had been particularly unnerving.  
  
"FIANCE?!" Ranma looked at Ukyou. Everyone else (except the sleeping Kasumi) immediately realized what this meant. (Having been coached by Nabiki on what she'd found out about multiple fiancees.) "MISTER SAOTOME!"  
  
Akane materialized Mjolnir, Shampoo built up battle aura, Nabiki started making entries in her journal, Ranma cracked his knuckles.  
  
Genma, in panda form, wisely decided to take a short training journey.  
  
------  
  
Cologne considered ways that she could manipulate the situation to her benefit.   
  
=========  
  
NEXT TIME ON RANMA 1/2: The Art (6) A Tale Of Mousse And Squirrel  
  
a word on the spells here since there has been questions made regarding them. This is the same system that i came up with for Tetsuo in Happi Days, BTW.   
  
This magic system is loosely based on some purely mythical Chinese Sorcery stories. He forms a pattern woven from one of the six Chinese Elements (Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit, Wood) with his chi (which provides the "kick" to get the motor of the spell running). He is a generalist mage, as his school of magic is "Anything Goes" or whatever works.  
  
Therefore he isn't as good as a specialist but has a wider range of spells that he can access.  
  
CHI BOLT: (high chi) similar to the "Ha do ken", "Kamehaha", or any number of similar effects. Forms a sphere of chi which delivers a considerable kinetic impact, roughly equal to being slammed by a charging bull but without the horns. Ranma can only do this three times before tiring, while Tetsuo would pass out after casting this once.   
  
FIRE BALL: (medium) an explosive ball of flame. Amount of damage can be increased by feeding it more chi prior to release. Essentially a grenade spell.  
  
FLAME FIST: (medium) causes one's hands to be enveloped by fire. Said flames can then be thrown in a manner similar to a fireball. Does not burn the caster.  
  
HEALING SLEEP: (medium) causes a healing sleep where healing (mental and physical) is accelerated. Can be resisted by those with mind shields or a strong will.  
  
HIDE: (low chi) general use cloaking spell, makes the target (usually the caster) hard to notice. Not invisible/inaudible, but unless the target does something to call attention to his/herself the effect is generally the same.  
  
ICE HAWK: (medium chi) spirit magic spell incorporated by Ranma into the Anything Goes style. A bird of white mist that freezes the target when it strikes. Can be used on a low level to cool drinks.  
  
LEAP: (low) temporarily decreases gravity for target to 1/8 normal. lasts for three seconds.  
  
LIGHTNING FLARE: (high) throws a lightning bolt.  
  
LIGHTNING GRIP: (low) rather like hitting someone with a taser.  
  
MIRV: (extremely high chi) a very high level spell that causes massive property devaluation. Think "tactical nuclear weapon."  
  
MOSTLY HARMLESS: (high) slams target's pleasure centers, stimulates endorphins, and otherwise makes the target feel good and upbeat for five minutes or so. Can be addictive.  
  
QUICK FIX: (medium) a spell that will fix small rents, tears, breaks, by taking two things that were once part of a whole and making them whole again. Ranma gets a LOT of practice with this spell.  
  
SHIELD: (varies in chi required) general use protection spell. like a Star Trek deflector, it doesn't stop anything, just absorbs most of the damage. More chi can be fed into the Shield to increase the amount of protection. It can also be used to form a "wall" instead of the default "armor".  
  



	6. Tale Of Mousse & Squirrel

The Art____Chapter 6:   
  
by GreggSharp   
  
Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by Fred Perry, Megumi Hayashibara is a goddess of cute.   
  
i don't have money so don't sue me, hire me and we can BOTH make money. does anyone actually read these things.  
  
---------  
  
THE ART 6: TALE OF MOUSSE AND SQUIRREL  
  
The "Lynch Genma" party came back to the Tendo-ke disheartened. The only trace they'd found of the panda was a note stating something about going on a training journey. All things considered, that probably meant he wasn't on the same dimensional plane at this point. Probably spying on the Kachina spirits or trying to pick up tantric magic from the Hindus, at least that was the consensus.  
  
"So, Ukyou," Akane said with a thoughtful expression, "you've been following Ranma for eight years or so?"  
  
"Yes, sugar. I made the mistake of listening to that Ryouga, and without any way for me to cross universes without him..." Ukyou shrugged.   
  
"So you visited the Faerie Realms?"  
  
"Yeah, me and Ryouga got into those Mists Of Change, too. Really odd place where what you take as the normal laws of physics just don't seem to work more often than not. Once I threw one of my spatulas, and it turned into a cheese grater before it got halfway to  
the target." Ukyou shook her head at the memory.   
  
*SPLASH!*  
  
"What ya do THAT for?!" Ranma-chan looked over at Nabiki with a glare.   
  
"So did Ranma and his father. The Faerie Realms cause one's inner nature to come forward. In this and similar realities, water is the trigger to transform from cursed to uncursed form. Hot to restore, cold to trigger," Nabiki explained.  
  
"So Ranchan's got a feminine side?" Ukyou shrugged. "It could be worse."  
  
*SPLASH!*  
  
"Akane!" Ranma looked over at where Akane was smirking at the pile of clothing that had been Ukyou a moment ago.  
  
"True natures are revealed, right, Ranma? In your case, it's the heritage from your mother the Valkyrie. Your father is a fat lazy panda. Before we go making all nice and friendly with ANOTHER fiancee,  
shouldn't we know what she's like?"  
  
"Geez, Akane, Why are you being so..." Nabiki started trying to think of why Akane would be more annoying than usual.  
  
"We're out of Midol."  
  
Shampoo and Nabiki both looked momentarily frightened.  
  
Akane was a berserker. Akane usually had really bad PMS. Berserkers with PMS were something to be feared.  
  
Ranma missed this, his attention on something small moving  
in Ukyou's clothing. "Ucchan, I'm sorry about this."  
  
A small fuzzy head peeked out from one of Ukyou's sleeves. Large expressive ears twitched as equally large soulful blue eyes blinked at Ranma. With great hesitation, the small striped body began moving forward.  
  
"Oh, she's sooo cute." Kasumi had woken up in time to see Ukyou get splashed. She'd missed hearing Akane's statement though.  
  
Nabiki frowned as the little creature quickly scrambled free of the sleeve and hid behind Ranma. "I'm not sure what that is. It looks a little bit like a squirrel or a fox, but it also has some feline features."  
  
"I recognize it," Ranma said, holding a hand down for Ukyou. When she didn't move, he slowly brought the hand to her and began stroking the fur. Ukyou very slowly began to relax. "They call them fox-squirrels or squirrelfoxes, or foxcats depending on which world  
you find 'em in and they're in several different worlds. They're omnivores, mainly eat fruit and nuts but also small rodents. They fill the same basic niche as cats do on other worlds."  
  
Akane ignored the way Shampoo and Nabiki had both backed away from her. She was fine. Just fine. No problems. "So what's this mean? Can we trust her?"  
  
"Trust her to do what?" Ranma felt the little body tense. "Trust her not to splash YOU with cold water? Yes. If you corner one, their claws and teeth are very very sharp, but they're also very affectionate and loyal creatures." Ranma smiled as she felt the body  
relax a little bit. "They make fair watchdogs, are quite territorial, and like a hummingbird, will take on opponents many times their size. They're fast, fairly clever, and easily trained."  
  
Ukyou sniffed, jumped into Ranma's lap and made a slight buzzing noise. She waited until Akane was staring at her before Ukyou stuck her tongue out at Akane.  
  
"AKANE, NO!"  
  
Ukyou-f looked startled and jumped as a large hammer slammed into the space she'd just occupied. The idea that this could happen was apparently a surprise to the little foxcat. She passed Ranma's head, trying to pick up speed.  
  
Even through the haze of pain, Ranma thanked kami that she had been in female form when Mjolnir had slammed into her crossed legs. It wasn't much of a consolation. The blow to her head a moment later at   
least removed the awareness of the pain for a time.  
  
Seeing Ranma slam into a wall and then drop like a ragdoll, everyone's shocked gaze switched back to Akane who was chasing the foxcat around, swinging her hammer and making large holes in the surrounding environment.  
  
"COME BACK HERE, YOU!" *SMASH, tinkle.* "YOU LITTLE RODENT! COME BACK HERE!" *CRASH, shatter* "UKYOU, STOP RIGHT THERE!" *THUD, CRUNCH, Smash.*  
  
Shampoo leapt forward between the two. Akane never hit her adopted sister except in sparring matches. They were good friends under it all.  
  
*SLAM!* Shampoo realized in mid-air that Akane had entered her berserker state. At that point she also realized what she was flying towards.  
  
"Akane, no!" Nabiki watched as the television became a piece of abstract art.  
  
Ukyou saw Ranma lying still and raced towards him. She didn't realize how close Akane was, or that both Nabiki and Kasumi were moving to intercept their sister.  
  
"GOT YOU!" Akane slammed the little critter with her hammer as it leapt onto Ranma's chest. "I guess I showed you!"  
  
"Akane," Nabiki said pleasantly. "Actions have consequences."   
  
Kasumi sniffled. Ranma wasn't breathing too well and Ukyou wasn't breathing at all. She felt so helpless. "Don't die. Please don't die."  
  
"I-I didn't mean to..."  
  
"DON'T DIE!" Kasumi screamed. Her third eye opened.  
  
------  
  
Wings fluttered over Nerima, passing the dimly glowing wards of the Three Fates Shrine, a moment later passing a wereboar wandering the streets. He was close, he knew he was close.  
  
---------  
  
Cologne narrowed her eyes. The Tower had just crossed The Lovers. "A new factor enters the scene, disrupting my plans to matchmake my great-granddaughter with the mage Ranma, eh?"  
  
She slapped another card into place. Past Influences was revealed as the Seven of Stars, which she knew from past drawings indicated Genma. No surprise there, disasters surrounded Ranma's father, but it was mainly Ranma who would pay the price for his father's lack of moral strength.  
  
Present Influences was drawn and placed. This was an Amazon deck and had cards that weren't in more traditional decks. This was one of them, the Amazon showing a spear carrying woman standing on the back of a charging horse. Cologne mused as to whether it meant herself or her great-granddaughter, or merely the more common meaning of "a woman in charge" or "skill over force."  
  
Future Influences was no surprise, The Mage. Ranma himself, possibly, as he gained more control over his Art and therefore his environment.   
  
Cologne placed the next three cards in quick succession. Questioner: High Priestess. Environment: Wheel Of Fortune. Modifier: Nine Of Eyes. The questioner was obviously a reference to herself, an Elder of the Chinese Amazons. The Wheel Of Fortune, meant that things  
were in flux, a period of chaos where all her carefully laid plans could be set awry. Nine Of Eyes, supernatural evil or black magic.  
  
The final card, the outcome, was carefully laid down. Cologne looked at it in deep thought for several moments before gathering the cards up again. This would never do. Just the number of major arcana that appeared was evidence of something not right. The final card was  
of the Six Of Wands. Taken with the others it meant an evil mage of some kind or a practitioner of the Dark Arts.  
  
Her eyes widened. It couldn't be him... could it? Making a sound of disgust, she gathered her things. If THAT fool was involved, then it had become time to take a personal hand in the events.  
  
"Bag, come here." As the old carpetbag scuttled over, Cologne began throwing the items she'd need into it. This was going to be a long trip.  
  
---------  
  
"I'm a what?" Ukyou looked around. "What are you all looking at, anyway?" Hot water had restored her to human form, and she had been glad that Ranma wasn't awake while she scrambled for her clothing.  
  
"The sign of wu on your forehead, mainly," Nabiki explained in a gentle voice. "Ukyou, you're now linked to Kasumi in a rather intimate way."  
  
"What, I..."  
  
Kasumi apologized. She hadn't meant to do anything of the sort.  
  
Nabiki gently explained the situation to Ukyou.   
  
"You ATE MY SOUL!?" Ukyou looked at Kasumi with a horrified expression.  
  
Kasumi apologized again. The Triclops briefly took over, gave Ukyou the redeye. "Biiii-dah!" Then Kasumi was back apologizing again.  
  
Ranma, would have protested over his childhood friend being treated like this, except he was still unconscious.   
  
The Triclops manifested again, staring straight into Ukyou's eyes. Ukyou's eyes went blank almost immediately.  
  
Akane started forward, "Hey, what are you doing?"  
  
The Triclops smiled as Akane was caught in her gaze. "You hit me, half-sister. That hammer of yours hurt, you know." The Triclops was much better at projective telepathy than Kasumi, while Kasumi did emotions and the like quite well, the Triclops had much more control over the ability. She also wasn't nearly as nice as Kasumi.  
  
"Akane," continued the Triclops in a low voice. She then sketched out a series of posthypnotic suggestions for what would be thoroughly atypical behavior for Akane. "Now go over into the corner, wake up, but sit down and shut up until we're done."  
  
Nabiki watched Akane walk over to the corner, sit down, and look very puzzled.  
  
Shampoo watched the two and decided she did NOT want to get involved here. Besides, she was curious herself.  
  
"Now, Ukyou, tell us about your family and your relation to Ranma." The Triclops didn't dislike Ukyou, just considered her a puzzle to be unraveled.   
  
"My clan is Kuonji, and I am the last of my line," Ukyou said as if reciting from some report. "My family line had served the Emperor for one thousand years before falling in the Tokugawa era. We started  
out as warriors, samurai. It became obvious during the days of the Shogun Of Darkness that the way of the samurai was not enough. Then came the marriage of one of our line with one of the Tsukitate clan of ninjas, and the subsequent merger. It was a loss of honor, in the pursuit of duty.   
  
"We were slaughtered for political reasons during the Tokugawa era. We served the Imperial family and power was being further drawn from their control. My great-grandfather started working from yattai during this period. We adopted our martial arts to this end and lost much of our magic.   
  
"There is no more we, merely I."  
  
The Triclops pondered this. "Now the rest of my request, what is your relationship to Ranma?"  
  
Ukyou explained how Genma had accepted a dowry from her father, a yattai and a secret scroll with the spells "Hide" and "Leap" for her betrothal to Ranma.   
  
"Ungh," Ranma managed as he got into an upright position. "Ouch. I'll have to cast 'Healing Sleep' on myself later. Huh?"  
  
Ranma's fingers flicked, tracing a pattern in midair. "Kasumi? No, it's not the Triclops..."  
  
"What wrong, Ranma?" Then Shampoo felt it too, a cold sensation as if a chill breeze had come from somewhere.  
  
Ukyou shook her head, clearing it. Something odd was going on, and she'd dispute this violation of her mind when she had a defense against the Triclops.   
  
"Heh heh heh. Shampoo, at last I have found you."  
  
"Oh no," Shampoo backed away. "Ranma, you have really good spells, yes?"  
  
"Well, yeah. I've got enough chi left for some spells."  
  
"Not what I mean. That Mousse's voice. He practitioner of Chinese Black Magic."  
  
"Necromancy? No wonder we're getting the evil aura crap," Nabiki swore. She only had one spirit ward on her (mainly to use on Kasumi if the Triclops got too out-of-hand.)  
  
Kasumi merely sneered. Her fangs made such an expression particularly effective as she was still in Triclops form. "A necromancer? Pfeh."  
  
Shampoo glanced around nervously. Akane hefted her copy of Mjolnir. Nabiki readied her spirit ward. Kasumi held her hands a few inches apart and readied a pattern. Ranma fumbled around in the scrolls he still had for a good anti-undead spell.  
  
"Now I have you, Shampoo!" The voice came again, followed by the sounds of bushes crashing and something slamming into a wall.  
  
Ryouga's voice cut through the brief stillness. "WHO are you calling Shampoo!" *CRASH* "You moron!" *SMASH* "Getting back up, eh? Let's see how you handle a quarter-ton lycanthrope!" *pause* "Squueeaallll" *SNAP, CRACKLE, POP*  
  
The silhouette of Ryouga's wereboar form, aka "Porkchop" walked by the window, briefly stopping to scrape something off of his tusks.  
  
"Aiyaa, good thing Mousse is blind as bat."  
  
The Triclops snorted, then shifted back to Kasumi who started apologizing to Ukyou for what had just occurred.  
  
"Kasumi, I haven't got a problem with you. That three-eyed witch you transform into, on the other hand..." Ukyou glared. "My mind is a very precious possession and I do NOT like people mucking about with it."  
  
"I think I've got some suggestions for dinner tomorrow," Nabiki said with a smile, eager to change the subject. Besides, they had to get some Midol. SOON.  
  
--------  
  
"Hah! Now I have you, Shampoo!" Mousse showed his fangs. "Now you shall be my bride for all eternity!"  
  
Shampoo shook her head and breathed on him. This surprised Mousse who fell over and was writhing on the ground in agony a moment later.  
  
"What? How?"  
  
"Shampoo have many potstickers at dinner."  
  
"And I," Ukyou smiled, "have prepared this! Garlic pizza attack!"  
  
"Arrrgghhhh. I...prefer traditional okonomiyaki!" Mousse was backed into a corner. "Well, I can always be patient, knowing that one day you'll slip up and Shampoo will join me in undeath." Mousse shifted  
into bat form.  
  
"LIGHTNING FLARE!" Ranma's lightning bolt slapped the little bat out of the air.  
  
Deciding that maybe the bat wasn't a good idea, Mousse shifted to human form then to a wolf.  
  
"You're right, Shampoo, gullibility factor 7 at least." Nabiki nodded. "Akane?"  
  
"And with the bases loaded," Akane muttering her own play-by-play, "Akane Tendo steps up to the plate. The crowd goes wild."  
  
The wolf looked over at Akane using Mjolnir IV and getting ready to slam him into lunar orbit. He shifted again, back to human and then into a mist. He wondered though, why suddenly everyone except Akane was holding their ears, why Ranma was casting a spell on  
Akane, and just what did Akane hope to accomplish by spinning that hammer faster and faster. After all, Mousse knew that he couldn't be hit by that hammer while in mist form.  
  
Ranma's "Greased Lightning" spell accelerated Akane's speed, Akane grinned and threw her hammer as fast and hard as she possibly could.   
  
*BOOM!* The hammer went through the mist, absolutely harmlessly, as Mousse knew it would. What really hurt was the vaccuum formed behind the hammer, the pressure wave around the hammer, and the ionized trail the hammer left behind.  
  
Mousse hit the ground moaning, having had his mist form turned inside out and stretched out over a quarter mile long flight plan. He stood up in the street, shaking his head. "Damn, if I weren't undead that would have killed me."  
  
"Ahem."  
  
"Oh, you, Kasumi isn't it? Well you're not my target of choice, but I really need to drain something to get my strength back. Nothing personal." Mousse stepped forward, baring his fangs.  
  
"Nothing personal," agreed the Triclops.  
  
-------  
  
"Look at this pretty bottle," said Kasumi. "I had it when the Triclops went back to sleep. Funny, I usually remember everything the Triclops does but I don't remember where she got this. It is pretty though, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes, that's very nice. It'd make a great suncatcher don't you think, Ranma?"   
  
"Of course, Nabiki."  
  
"Shampoo know just where to put it, so it get first light of dawn. It look really good there."  
  
The mists within the bottle briefly formed letters. "Could we possibly negotiate this?"  
  
--------  
  
Cologne stopped and watched from a distance. Mousse's intellect had dropped off even further since he'd become undead. Well, it was hardly unexpected. At least she'd put those damn pervert skeletons of his into stasis. She hadn't bothered to destroy them, as you never know when something like that could come in handy.  
  
----------  
  
The Dragon moved from the ice floe into the freezing waters, sliding in without making a single splash despite the great bulk and mass.   
  
It was still going on as had been foreseen.  
  
===================================  
Marks end of ch 6 of The Art.  
  
Next Chapter 7:The Choice  
  
Admittedly this is a change of pace after the slapstick of the first few chapters, gomen ne. There will be completely serious chapters, as there was in TOS, but am trying to at least maintain some light heartedness in the series. (Ranma is MAINLY comedy after all.) may have to completely rewrite this later, still not nearly satisfied with it.  
Mata ne, minaasan! 


	7. The Choice

The Art____Chapter 7: The Choice  
by GreggSharp   
  
Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by Fred Perry.  
  
Thanks to Harvey Vogt Jr for sending me the file with the original FFML versions of The Art so i could put these up. Now looking to do the same for "Neutral Ground" and "Dragon's Destiny".   
  
------  
  
It had been almost a month now since Ranma had come to Nerima. (The neighbors could have sworn longer, and that the calenders were lying, but this time they wrong. It had actually been just short of a month.) The days had settled into a routine, which had given some necessary stability to Ranma's life.  
  
Morning would see him sparring with his father or Shampoo to increase his HTH skills. This would be followed by breakfast with Kasumi's shy flirting, Nabiki's talk about finances and the local news, Akane grumbling about whatever she was blaming him (or Ukyo or the Challenger/Monster Of The Week) for at the moment, Shampoo coming by to tell him the shower was ready (usually accompanied by an offer to scrub his back), and Akane finally making a half-hearted attempt to be nice.  
  
The run to school, culminating with a short battle with Tatewaki Kuno using his latest "anti-evil sorcerer" technique or gadget. Sometimes Kuno would just try the "Wizard Of Oz" method and rejoice at the return of his Osage No Onna. Followed shortly thereafter by the great Tatewaki Kuno getting fried, zapped, frozen, or pummelled.  
  
The run to school was followed by a number of girls passing him notes in class, which he typically ignored unless it included a free lunch. He'd be sitting between Ukyou and Akane and they tended to "ride herd" on him. The two stuck with him most of the day. Akane usually glaring at him, or at Ukyou, or at everyone else around her. Ukyou was usually flirting, making double entrede comments, or talking about Her Dream. (This was the one where her eatery became a nationwide chain, alternatively it became so world-reknowned that people came from all over just to have an Ucchan's okonomiyaki.)  
  
The end of the school day saw the scheduled fight with Ryouga, sometimes in his wereform (nicknamed "Porkchop" by the locals) and sometimes his Faerie cursed hyper-kawaii form (nicknamed "P-chan" by Akane who still hadn't figured out that her little pet pig was actually the very same Ryouga who had accidently cut her hair with a magic sword.) Ranma then went home, did his homework, tried to figure out a new spell, and did whatever odd jobs Nabiki had arranged for him.   
Sometimes this just required a Quick Fix spell to repair simple damaged items, sometimes it was much more challenging like the bodyguard job on the visiting idol singer or being on retainer with one of the local "ghost sweeper" companies.  
  
Yes, even this sort of life had become a routine.  
  
Unfortunately, Ranma noted to himself on the roof of the Tendo house, it had also made the month of his postponed decision run by way too fast.  
  
"So what are you going to do?" Ryouga was watching the clouds overhead. Kasumi had made it perfectly clear that the house was NOT to be used as a battlefield. Ryouga had argued the point, once.  
  
"They've all got their pluses and minuses, you know." Ranma sighed and watched the people going by. How nice it must be to have a NORMAL life. No vengeance crazed wereboars, no AT-field generating ribbon-weaponed would-be fiancees, no multiple fiancees ready to break into open combat, no crazed and clueless kendoists throwing buckets of water. Just a nine-to-five job and coming home to the wife and kids. It would be boring.   
  
Boring sounded really nice at times.  
  
------  
  
Nabiki smirked. She KNEW it had been a good idea to use electronic eavesdropping on the roof. Esper or magical scrying would have been detected by Ranma, but many of the esper/magic crowd tended to forget about the wonders of technology.  
  
Collecting her yen at the door, she started letting the fiancees know that The Decision was going to be made soon, and if they wanted it piped into Ucchan's...1000 yen apiece.  
  
Nabiki became much wealthier, very quickly.  
  
(WRITER'S NOTE: picture this as a split screen. The top half showing the two on the rooftop. The bottom half showing people at Ucchan's.)  
  
Rooftop:  
  
"So you HAVEN'T made a decision," Ryouga asked. "In that case, can I have Akane?"  
  
Ucchan's:  
Akane abruptly choked on her tea, requiring Nabiki to pound her back until she stopped.  
  
Rooftop:  
  
"I dunno, Ryouga. There are times when she isn't angry and she smiles, and she is just SO cute then. Her smile can really light up a room, y'know."  
  
Ucchan's:  
  
Akane blinks. A hesitant smile appears on her face. "He called me...cute?! But but but we're not ready to be married."  
  
Everyone else glares at Akane.  
  
Rooftop:  
  
Ryouga glanced over at Ranma before turning his apparent attention back to the clouds. "Yeah, and most of the time she's ready to pound you for things you haven't done or at least aren't your fault. Face it, you and her don't get along because in some ways you are too alike."  
  
Ranma looked startled. "Ryouga, when did you get so philosphical?"  
  
Ryouga snorted, sounding very piglike when he did so. "I spend a lot of time alone, you can get very introspective when you're lost in a foreign land with no one to talk to."  
  
"Yeah, I guess." Ranma turned his gaze back to the street. "Still, Akane has her good points. She has a lot of fire, doesn't back down from a confrontation, and you can count on her speaking her mind. Her telekinetic skills and her martial arts are both pretty good."  
  
Ucchan's:  
  
Akane is practically beaming at the praise. Ukyou watches as a bowl of peanuts lifts up off a table to join a crowd of similar objects floating in midair.  
  
Rooftop:  
  
"On the other hand, she's violent, never gives me a chance, and hates my guts. So she's not a good choice."  
  
Ucchan's:  
  
Ukyou looked over the various items now scattered all over the floor. "Akane, since you made the mess, I think y'all should be the one to clean it up. Broom's over there."  
  
Rooftop:  
  
"Then there's Shampoo."  
  
Ucchan's:  
  
"Uh oh. Shampoo near beginning of list, this not bode well." Swearing something in Mandarin about how this must be her purple-haired destiny, she turned her attention to her tea. "Pfeh. Stupid mage."  
  
Rooftop:  
"Shampoo's loving and caring, I get the impression that she'll make someone a nice wife."  
  
"As long as Mousse doesn't return and try to make her a vampire like himself." Ryouga closed his eyes. "Maybe I ought to go after her if you're not. I hear she likes strong guys."  
  
"I thought you liked Akane."  
  
"I love Akane. I think if she finds out I'm P-chan as well as Porkchop I'll have trouble keeping from out of the frypan."  
  
Ucchan's:  
  
Akane is being restrained from running out the door by Shampoo and Ukyou. "LET ME AT HIM! He's seen me in the nude, the lech! That PIG!"   
  
"Shhhh, we'll miss the rest of this if you don't quiet down!"  
  
Rooftop:  
  
"Anyway, do you remember back to that little contest with Kodachi the Black Rose?"  
  
"How could I forget?"  
  
"Remember how Akane was watching me fight Kodachi? Kodachi had that ribbon of hers with a TK field extended around it so that it would slice through damn near anything."  
  
"I remember, Nabiki was off making bets, Akane was yelling at you for getting P-chan involved in the match, and Shampoo had lessons with that amazon sensei of hers, Mrs Tofu."  
  
"Yeah, and here Shampoo had gotten all shy and demure on me, so that I didn't know what to think of how she felt about me, and then goes off to see her 'teacher of amazon ways' during an important fight."  
  
Ucchan's:  
Still straining to hold Akane back, Shampoo growled. "Shampoo knew should have glomped Ranma, but NOOOOO Shampoo have to be proper Japanese girl and not do Amazon heritage. Shampoo have kitten fit later."   
  
Rooftop:  
  
"Subtle doesn't do it for you, huh?" Ryouga smiled. "Yeah, I expect that's one thing we've got in common. After all, with all the studying and being dragged through various dimensions, we're in the same boat as far as social skills are concerned. If we can't fight it we're kinda at a loss how to handle the situation."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Ranma nodded. "Maybe if I weren't a mage, I could be more comfortable with my feelings and such."  
  
"Well then," Ryouga sighed. "That leaves Ukyou, Kasumi, and Nabiki, doesn't it?"  
  
"Nabs found out what was going on with Ukyou. She's got the blood of a dragon in her family tree, you know the Chinese legends of the daughter of a dragon and a noble warrior who marries her, only to have said daughter forced to return to the dragon's lair under the sea?"  
  
"Kuonji?"  
  
"Yup. Mind you, Ukyou is nice, affectionate, and has a good level of magic resistance. Still she's got no magical or esper skills to speak of, and she didn't attend my match with Kodachi either, just attended some local business manager's meeting."  
  
Ucchan's:  
  
"He didn't choose me?" There was a spattering noise as Ukyou's tears hit the hot metal grill. "Baka."  
  
Rooftop:  
  
"Nabiki? Give me a break. You're choosing someone who sold you out to Kuno?"  
  
"You should have seen her when she came to apologize. She looked so...vulnerable, so nice and, well, cute. I don't know, she can also be so mercenary and cold and calculating at times. At times like that the Triclops seems more human."  
  
Ucchan's:  
  
"I'm not THAT bad, am I?"  
  
Everyone looked at Nabiki and nodded.  
  
"Oh my," said Nabiki with a groan.  
  
Rooftop:  
  
"But the fact remains that she HAS sold me out, and not just for the sake of the Dojo or her family."   
  
"Oh?"  
  
"You really think it's a coincidence that she got a new CD player after selling Kuno pictures of his 'pig-tailed goddess' sleeping half-nude? Originally I thought she was just keeping the household afloat."  
  
Ucchan's:  
  
"...but it was a CD player AND TWO CDs."  
  
Ukyou made an unflattering comment about Genma being a second-rate Nabiki.  
  
Rooftop:  
  
"That leaves..."  
  
"Kasumi. Mind you, the Triclops scares the CRAP out of me. Kasumi, though, Kasumi is nice. I might be able to put HER in charge of the Triclops instead of the other way around. Tricky, but it's possible. Still, I've got to give my answer tomorrow, and it looks like Kasumi is the only one who won't betray or abandon me."  
  
"What could change your mind overnight? Maybe if one of them seduced you?"  
  
"Yeah." Ranma looked at the sky for a moment.   
  
Ucchan's:  
  
The door to the empty cafe swings shut. Ukyou runs back to put the "Closed" sign up.  
  
Rooftop:  
  
"Like THAT could happen. Nah, that'd just freak me out."   
  
---------------------------  
  
Cologne watched her carefully laid plans get ripped up and thrown to the winds. "How did this happen?"   
  
"You should know that by now, my dear." An equally short figure moved out of the shadows.  
  
"Happi," Cologne snarled. "I should have known."   
  
"Simple enough to manufacture crises for both the Kuonji woman and Shampoo, diverting them at a time when Ranma had himself been manipulated to think the threat of the Kodachi woman far more severe than it was. Her minor tricks of the AT field and her trick weaponry proved no match for Ranma. This way the Tendo daughters had a clear shot at the boy, even if it was not the one I'd originally chosen."  
  
"You WANTED an Akane-Ranma match? He would not have survived the year!"  
  
"Ranma may not have survived such a relationship, but his survival was not my goal anyway. The children that would have resulted from that union would have their mother's strength and vitality, as well as Ranma's gift for magic and talent for survival. It may still work out."  
  
"Happi, I think you've finally flipped out."  
  
"Au contraire, Cologne." Happosai flipped out his own tarot deck. "How do you build a future?"  
  
He drew a card. "Le Force, Akane." Another card. "Le Bataleur, the mage- Ranma. Strength of arm and strength of will, m'dear."   
  
Cologne shook her head and drew two cards of her own. "He has made his choice. But will it be the Triclops?" She flicked the card showing a demon over. "Or will it be Kasumi that he ends up with?" Another card was flipped, showing the Ace Of Cups.  
  
"We shall see, shall we not?" Happosai sighed. "Now that we got all the gloom and doom stuff done, you got any of that good Amazon moonshine?"  
  
"Hmph. I've got a bottle here that'll peel the skin off a basilisk. It's been a long time, Happi."  
  
"Hotcha!"  
  
=====================  
  
Kasumi: "In the next episode of Ranma 1/2: The Art, we see... Oh my. Shampoo, what were you doing in Ranma's bedroom? Nabiki, I really don't think that's appropriate behavior. Oh my, Ukyou what do you mean there's a link between our souls?  
  
"The next episode is: 8 is way too damn much.  
  
"We'll see you there, bye bye!"  
  
  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8 (is enough)

The Art____Chapter 8 (is too damn many)   
  
by GreggSharp Metroanime@mindspring.com  
  
Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by Fred Perry.  
  
in some ways this story was a rough draft precursor of what became "A Different Art", the entire mage-Ranma concept being more polished and central in that story.  
  
-----------  
  
The dragon moved through the cold sluggish waters with nearly infinite patience. It was on its way, and it was in no hurry.  
  
-----------  
  
Genma moved a tile. "You think he'll make his choice finally?"  
  
Soun moved another tile. "Tomorrow's the deadline."  
  
"Which one do you think he'll choose?" Genma considered using Hide on one of his shogi tiles, but decided against it. Normal cheating was sufficient. Palming one of his tiles, he waited for the chance to place it in a more advantageous position.  
  
"Shampoo is the more logical choice. Then I can marry Nabiki off to that Kuno fellow, he's got money so she'll like that. Kasumi can be married off to that nice English teacher. Akane, well she hates boys and I think that Art teacher is a good match for her."  
  
"Isn't the English teacher some gaijin? Art teacher? You mean Miss Harenchi?"  
  
"Yes. and that's the one."  
  
"Uhm...unusual choices."  
  
"Well, Saotome, I had no idea how rewarding matchmaking is. Now that I know..."  
  
Genma stared at his friend. If this was an attempt to distract him so that the pieces could be moved around again, it wouldn't work. Two, in fact, could play that game. "So true, Tendo. Maybe I should dabble myself. You don't have someone that you're pursuing, do you?"  
  
"Hah, good try, Saotome." Soun moved a piece. "After all my daughters have been married off, then it might be something to consider."  
  
"Hmmm. You may have a point there." Genma smirked, his position was good.  
  
"By the way, Saotome, since tomorrow is such a big day, I've invited your wife over to witness the joining of our two families."  
  
"Gurk!" Genma fell over, not noticing the flurry of movement from the board. "Soun, old buddy, please tell me you're kidding."  
  
Soun Tendo looked at his friend, genuinely puzzled. "Why, old friend? Aren't you anxious to get back together with your wife?"  
  
"Soun, she's a VALKYRIE!"  
  
"Yes, your point?" Soun Tendo was disappointed. Genma wasn't even looking at the board to see how badly his position had changed.  
  
"When I took Ranma away on this training journey, I promised he would return a hero worthy of her heritage."  
  
"Well, he's very heroic. Consider what happened with that Azusa Shiratori woman."  
  
FLASHBACK:   
  
The Golden Pair, Azusa Shiratori and Mikado Sanzennin, having captured "Peku-peku" (Ukyou's cursed form having been renamed as "Marie" by Azusa) racing up to "skate to the death" against the team of Shampoo and Ranma. Only to see Shampoo's skates come apart during a triple axle lux. Then the team of Ryouga and Ranma-chan go into the battle, up until Ryouga lost his  
temper completely and transformed into Porkchop in front of the entire audience. (Most of whom still thought it was a cheesy special effect.) However, large pigs are very poor figure skaters.  
  
Ranma-chan defeating the two skaters, only to have Kasumi walk out onto the ice, face the Golden Pair and go Triclops. At that point Ranma had proven himself the adaptive mage he was and begun copying down the details on the "Phoenix Wing" and "Demon Brand" spells when Kasumi started obligingly throwing said spells on Mikado (this occurred right after said skater tried to  
add the Triclops' lips to his list of conquests.)  
  
-end flashback-  
  
"He WAS kind of heroic there for awhile."  
  
"And who can doubt the courage of any guy who gets in front of a large crowd wearing a pink leotard?"  
  
"I don't think we want to mention the 'rhythmic gymnastics match' in any detail to Nadoka. Remember, Valkyries are the 'Choosers of the Slain.' They don't have much of a sense of humor."  
  
"Perhaps you SHOULD worry then, Saotome."  
  
---------  
  
Hours later, Nabiki would scan through her tape recording of the conversation, pause, playback at normal speed one part of the conversation, then become very quietly ill. "Kuno? I don't deserve someone with a brain in their head? Vengeance will be mine, father."  
  
-------  
  
Shampoo crept through her own house. Despite that it was her own house and she had every right to be there, sneaking just felt right when engaged in this particular activity.  
  
There was a bad moment when she passed Ukyou who was doing the same thing. Shampoo made a mental note that Kasumi needed to tighten the reins on her wu.   
  
Finally Shampoo made it. "Heh heh, Ranma take a bath after homework, he get Shampoo in water." Hiding, she smiled and prepared to wait.  
  
--------  
  
Nabiki left the recording of her father's plans so that she could make plans of her own. Noting that Shampoo had just snuck into the furo, Nabiki quietly hung an "Out Of Order" sign on it, then went to the kitchen for her own ambush.  
  
Kasumi noted the mushroom dish that Nabiki was making and raised an eyebrow. That was odd, as she knew what supplies they had. Fresh mushrooms were not currently in stock. She heard the Triclops chuckle, though, so it must have been something that Nabiki had discussed with Kasumi's other self.  
  
-----  
  
Akane had been having a bad day. She'd had stomach cramps again, and this had put in a foul mood again. The last time this had hit, she'd nearly smashed a little feli-rodent critter (Ukyou) into a fine red paste.  
  
Akane knew she had a temper problem. It, like her hammer, was one of the things she'd inherited from her grandfather's line. She'd also gotten stamina and strength from the same source. You take the good with the bad, as Kasumi would say.  
  
She HAD realized this time that it was a self-inflicted injury. Never again, she vowed, would she sample her own cookies in class. The jalapenos completely destroyed the subtle nuance she'd tried for with the ginger and blackstrap molasses.  
  
However, she had to at least make a half-hearted attempt at capturing Ranma. To concede defeat, even in such a ridiculous contest, was against her nature.  
  
It reminded her of that silliness with the "Seven Lucky Gods Of Martial Arts." She'd been snagged by that Kirin fellow, knocked out by a pressure point strike, and had awoken aboard their airship. Naturally, being related to Thor, she'd not been overawed by such a group. She'd summoned Mjolnir III and told each and every one of those Seven (Very Unlucky) Gods exactly what she thought of being kidnapped, and of having some upstart inbred tribe of martial artists pretending at godhood. It had been just another case of someone deciding what was best for her, and that really tended to piss her off.  
  
The kicker of that little adventure, of course, had been how much they'd had to pay Nabiki to take Akane back.  
  
Akane tried to figure out how one was supposed to go about seducing someone anyway. An evil grin spread across her face. She'd just grab the boy, throw him over her shoulder, and kidnap him! That's what all those "bride-nabber" types tried to do with her, so THAT would be acceptable behavior, in a '90s kind of way.  
  
Having decided on a suitable course of action, Akane decided a nap to sleep off the effects of her cooking would be in order.  
  
-------  
  
Ranma glanced around. Why did his danger sense keep going off?  
  
-------  
  
Ukyou spotted Ranma on the roof and began climbing up. Nabiki spotted her, and one "oops" later, a soaked squirrelfox managed to cuddle up to Ranma.  
  
It was better than nothing, and maybe she could sneak into the furo later with him.  
  
That hope was dashed when they got to the furo and saw the "Out Of Order" sign.  
  
--------  
  
Shampoo waited impatiently. Where was Ranma? She still had to pay him back for the comments about her being shy and demure.  
  
------  
  
Nabiki snuck into Akane's room and popped a mushroom into her open sister's mouth. Akane reflexively swallowed.  
  
Just a precaution. In case Akane overslept, of course.  
  
------  
  
Kasumi looked at the bowls of ramen that Nabiki prepared. How nice. Each had been labelled specifically for each member of the family, which was so thoughtful of Nabiki, and showed Nabiki's tendency to organize everything.  
  
Briefly the third eye opened. The Triclops, grinned, not nearly as pleasantly as Kasumi, and switched two labels around. The eye closed.  
  
Kasumi, puzzled by whatever the Triclops had done, merely shrugged. Oh well, sometimes Nabiki COULD be a little overzealous in her organizational skills.  
  
------  
  
Dinner was served. Rice, ramen, green tea, and some breadsticks that had been on special at the market.   
  
Nabiki ate slowly, glancing from one to the other of the various guests. Shampoo looked as if she were alternately ready to yell at Ranma, then unhappy, then suspicious. Akane looked tired, as if she'd just gotten up. Genma and Soun smiled at each other. Ukyou had finally transformed back, and kept trying to let Ranma know that SHE had a valid claim in the great   
fiancee competition.  
  
Akane abruptly hiccupped and shrank. A six year old girl wearing her clothes looked at all the grownups staring at her and began to bawl.  
  
"Akane, what happen to you? HIC!" The six year old Shampoo looked down at herself. "AIiiiiiyaaaa."   
  
"Akane, Shampoo? What? HIC! Raaaannncchannnn." Ukyou sniffled. "Waaaaaaaaaaa."  
  
Nabiki watched Kasumi. "Oh dear, Ranma, and here you have to make a decision tomorrow. Well, at least with this odd bug going around you've got an easier decision."  
  
"Actually, I've already made my decision," Ranma looked around at the children who were slowly getting their emotions under control. Apparently their mental and emotional state had largely reverted too.  
  
"Oh? And who, praytell, is the choice HIC! Arrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhh!"  
  
"Nabiki, you're so cute as a little girl."  
  
"Not fair! Not wanna be a kid!"  
  
"Kasumi, you didn't do something with the food, did you?"  
  
The third eye opened. "No, I just switched the labels on the bowls for Nabiki and myself. Actually, Nabiki, I'm surprised you didn't anticipate it."  
  
"Not fair," sniffled Nabiki, almost losing control again.  
  
"There's only one adult fiancee," noted the Triclops. "Shame about that, isn't it?"  
  
Ranma shrugged, this was as good a time as any. Getting to one knee, he held out a ring. "Kasumi Tendo, will you marry me?"  
  
The Triclops put the ring on with a look of triumph that abruptly turned to horror. "What? No!" The third eye vanished. "Oh my!"  
  
"What was that," Soun Tendo asked, relatively calmly considering what had just happened.  
  
"Oh the wedding ring has a couple of enchantments on it. Kasumi's now the dominant persona, she's the one who decides when the Triclops comes out, and for how long."  
  
"Oh, well, in that case," Soun began dancing around the room with his friend Genma. The children cried. Kasumi shyly took Ranma's hand and agreed.  
  
----------  
  
Ukyou, finally adult again, sat on the rooftop, trying not to think about what was going on in the room that had formerly been Kasumi's.  
  
The wedding had proven anticlimatic. Since the other fiancees had been turned adult only after the ceremony had been completed, things had been rather calmer than they might otherwise have been.  
  
Abruptly Ukyou's eye widened. A few moments later she slid off the roof, and barely noticed. "Oh, ah, eeep, oh." Ukyou scrambled to get inside the house and out of sight.  
  
Being linked to Kasumi by being Kasumi's wu was turning out to have some odd side effects. She was unsure whether to call this a perk or yet another curse. She settled for calling it undignified for now.  
  
--------  
  
The dragon moved like a shadow through icy depths. All was as foreseen.  
  
Next The Art 9/9: "What do you mean I missed the end of the world?"  



	9. What do you mean i missed the end of the...

The Art____Chapter 9   
  
by GreggSharp Metroanime@mindspring.com  
  
Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by Fred Perry. Evangelion by Hideaki Anno.  
  
i don't have money so don't sue me, hire me and we can BOTH make money. This is the "cut to the chase scene" version. Tanoshimate!  
  
===========================  
The Art 9  
"What do you mean I missed the end of the  
world?"  
---------------------------  
  
She had witnessed much in the years since the Tendo and Saotome clans had merged. The "Second Impact" and the rise of a New World Order. Such as it was. It seemed to have most of the foolishness of the old world order.  
  
Wormwood's impact (they had called it other things, but it was Wormwood or close enough) had destroyed the Amazon Village of Shampoo's birth, while Nerima and the rest of Tokyo now were claimed by the ocean.  
  
Kasumi watched as the Third Impact occurred. Quiet descended on the world. Closing her eyes, she could sense the two survivors off in the distance.  
  
All the pureblood humans, the Sons Of Adam and the Daughters Of Eve, the Lillim, were gone. Save two.  
  
Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Soryuu. Not the most auspicious of beginnings, she supposed, though there were certainly worse choices. One of whom had died shortly before the impact began. Though Asuka would not survive the year with what little care Shinji Ikari would be able to provide.  
  
In terms of raw power, skill, and experience, Kasumi Tendo was the current reigning world power. She nodded, the meek had inherited the Earth. Or close enough.  
  
Turning, now that another prophesy had been fulfilled and could now be discarded, Kasumi went to awaken the others. The crystalline caves of Tintagel were ready to release their cargo.  
  
Kasumi paused, looking at the raised biers, each with a different figure on them. The preparations had been extensive and based on other prophesies.  
  
Her husband, the mage Ranma Saotome. Her fingers traced the crystalline coffin over his face. They had come here when Wormwood had been imminent. She could remember the wedding, amusing because Tatewaki Kuno had taken one look at some of the wedding guests and might well still be running to this day.  
  
The couple who slept while holding hands just beyond Ranma, Nabiki and the werepanther Johnathon. Akane Tendo and the wereboar Ryouga Hibiki. All were those that humanity would have branded "different" or "outsider."  
  
They were those who were sufficiently not of Lillith or Adam, by trial or experience or birthright, that they were not considered.  
  
Besides, if some Angel Of Death had shown up, the Triclops would have shown that there were ways to deal with Angels that did not require such extravagances as giant robots.  
  
Now it was their turn. Those not of Adam. Those not of Lillith. Those who were the outsiders that had stepped aside for the time for ancient prophesy to play out.  
  
And some of those who had been of humanity that had helped and supported them. Akari Unryuu and the Amazons. Tofu Ono and his wife. Ukyo Kuonji and Keiichi Morisato. Others who had stood with them during the last days of the 20th Century and had shared a dream.   
  
But there came a time for sleepers to awake.  
  
Kasumi smiled and touched the lid of Ranma's bier again. No better time than now.  
  
---------------------------  
  
The Great Dragon surfaced. It had all gone as he had foreseen. Now things would be Different. Now, maybe at last, humanity would break the old pattern.  
  
At least it wouldn't be boring.  
  
THE END?  
  
  
Hi! Just a post fic note or two.  



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